This book is my number one pick for info on sex and sexuality, and I probably should invest in the printing company since I buy it for weddings, birthdays, holidays, bat mitzvahs, graduations, etc. It is the gift that really keeps on giving; it has information on everything from nipples to romance, oral sex to bondage, periods to massages. I like to think of it as the bible of sex. You can read the whole thing through cover to cover (which I've done with all three editions that I own), or use it just to reference things. Get ideas for new things to try or techniques to master, or bookmark a chapter to show your partner what really turns you on. Bring it on a bus or airplane for some great conversation starting material. All in all, possibly one of the most comprehensive, humorous and fun books ever written about sex.
-Essin' Em
Get your own Guide To Getting It On!!
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Sex Tips; Pleasure Cheatsheet
My partner isn't very good at pleasuring me. He/She is more of a wham, bam, thank you ma'am kind of lover, and doesn't have a lot of experience with manual stimulation/cunnilingus, but wants to get better. What kind of advice or hints can I give my partner so I can get more enjoyable sex without sounding too bossy or controlling? – Women all over the universe
Ah. The question I kept asking myself all through my undergraduate years. With out buying a pocket pussy, and licking it myself to show my partners exactly what I wanted, how in the hell was I going to get what I wanted? And since I wasn't ready to buy a silicone crotch, I suffered in silence (or faked it) for many a long night.
But then I realized that most people actually want to be good at pleasing their partner. I know I really do, and have no qualms asking my partner if what I'm doing feels good, if they want more or less, what else they'd like me to do. That's easy for me, but even I, Miss Sexpert Extraordinaire, have issues telling my lovers everything I need to get off. So, if you're in the same or similar boat, here's a cheat sheet to hand to your partner with coffee, leave on the pillow before your next tryst, or to read out loud together in a funny accent to make it less intimidating (ok, maybe the accent thing is just me).
Each woman is, for lack of a better analogy, like a snowflake (clearly, I like the snow. I AM from Colorado), completely different. Some women like lots of clit stimulation, others like 1 finger penetrating, and others like a lot more. It totally varies from person to person, and even the same woman may like different things at different times.
Firstly, realize that this shouldn't be 100% goal based; too much pressure to reach orgasm can cause performance anxiety, and make it even harder, so know that the journey of getting there (all the playing and fingering and licking and sucking) are very enjoyable to both parties. And sometimes, we don't want to have orgasms…I've never been with a guy who seemed to get this. Sometimes the stimulation is nice, and I like to play, but I'm not really in the mood to come. Really. I'm not lying. And sometimes that's all I want, so please get to work.
Also, many women need a little more time to get aroused than most men do; keep this in mind. Not everyone does, but most of us can't go from 0-60 in the time it takes to unbutton my pants. If she enjoys kissing, give her lots of that. Neck, ears, lips, breasts, nipples, belly button, etc. If you think you've kissed and petted her enough, do it a little more. Then keep moving. Additionally, some women (myself included) really really really like their breasts played with (although just FYI, nipples do not equal radio dials). Other women are not so mammary focused, so again, this is the point when you ask.
Talk to her, ask her what feels good, if what you're doing is enough, if she prefers faster or slower. Look for feedback; moans, back arching, eyes closing, pushing herself closer to your hand or mouth. If she is pushing your hand away, or tensing up and moving away from you, that would probably be a bad sign. Try different things, if you've made it to her lower set of lips, give them a lick or a stroke, and keep going to her thighs, and then come back on up. For the most part, teasing is good.
Start with her lips, NOT her clit, and start lightly and slowly and work your way up. If she tells you to go faster/slower/harder/softer, do it. And once you've found the right speed and intensity, don't speed up or push harder; just keep doing it. And once you're getting to that point, DON'T STOP.
While I keep stressing communication, I realize that a) this is hard, and b) sometimes you just need to know what to do. I have a book fetish; I collect sex books. Some are good, some aren't so wonderful, but most of them have sections on cunnilingus and finger a woman. Why don't you try reading it together, and having her tell you what she likes/dislikes as she reads it? Or give the different techniques a try. My favorite book (although any sexuality book would suffuce!) would have to be "The Guide to Getting it On", which is available at Babeland,...Get your own Guide To Getting It On!!
Wishing you some joyful journeying,
Essin' Em
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Movie Review: The Idiot's Guide to Making Porno Movies
In this funny film, four different directors make little vignettes embodying the concept of pizza delivery. The "Idiot's Guide to Making Porno Movies" delves into the popular fantasy of having a pizza delivery person come in and having hot sex with you. Having four different directors really makes it more interesting, because there are 4 unique styles, so there is definitely something for everyone. This throw back to the porn of the 70's and 80's is the product of many daydreams, and perhaps even some people's realities. I enjoy that the third scene had a pizza delivery girl, showing that men are not the only ones to walk in and put out when delivering this cheesy delight. All in all, a great movie for some fun laughs, or for exploration of your pizza delivery fantasies. Just a warning; it will make you hungry, and not all pizza delivery people will be as…accommodating…as those in the film.
-Essin' Em
Watch it here:
The Idiot's Guide to Making Porno Movies
-Essin' Em
Watch it here:
The Idiot's Guide to Making Porno Movies
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
FREE EC!!!! (Emergency Contraception)
Ladies -- Please mark your calendars!
Planned Parenthood is handing out FREE, yes no duckets necessary, FREE emergency contraception on Wednesday, December 6th . Just stop in your nearest clinic (link below) and you can receive one free packet. Everyone should have a backup handy for you, a friend, a loved one, whomever.
Emergency Contraception prevents an unplanned pregnancy up to 5 days after having unprotected sex. It is more effective the sooner you take it so having a backup may be crucial in a time-sensitive situation. We know its not a perfect world; whether the condom broke, your contraception failed, you got drunk and/or high and a little forgetful, the reasons are endless, but please take this opportunity to prevent an unintended, unwanted pregnancy. It works just like birth control pills-- by stopping ovulation. Remember, it PREVENTS pregnancy. And with HALF, yes 50%, of all pregnancies in this country being unintended, this is a real concern.
Of course, Planned Parenthood would also be happy to visit with you about getting on a reliable, regular form of birth control. Just ask!
Also, condoms are 4 for $1-- so get down to Planned Parenthood on Dec. 6th. Put that glove on the lovebug! Tell your friends, your family, your cat; whoever! Just let them know, and make sure you get your cute butt to Planned Parenthood on the 6th.
Wishing you hot, sexy and safer sex,
Essin' Em
em@hotmoviesforher.com
To find a clinic near you:
Planned Parenthood Federation of America - Get FREEEEEE EC
Planned Parenthood is handing out FREE, yes no duckets necessary, FREE emergency contraception on Wednesday, December 6th . Just stop in your nearest clinic (link below) and you can receive one free packet. Everyone should have a backup handy for you, a friend, a loved one, whomever.
Emergency Contraception prevents an unplanned pregnancy up to 5 days after having unprotected sex. It is more effective the sooner you take it so having a backup may be crucial in a time-sensitive situation. We know its not a perfect world; whether the condom broke, your contraception failed, you got drunk and/or high and a little forgetful, the reasons are endless, but please take this opportunity to prevent an unintended, unwanted pregnancy. It works just like birth control pills-- by stopping ovulation. Remember, it PREVENTS pregnancy. And with HALF, yes 50%, of all pregnancies in this country being unintended, this is a real concern.
Of course, Planned Parenthood would also be happy to visit with you about getting on a reliable, regular form of birth control. Just ask!
Also, condoms are 4 for $1-- so get down to Planned Parenthood on Dec. 6th. Put that glove on the lovebug! Tell your friends, your family, your cat; whoever! Just let them know, and make sure you get your cute butt to Planned Parenthood on the 6th.
Wishing you hot, sexy and safer sex,
Essin' Em
em@hotmoviesforher.com
To find a clinic near you:
Planned Parenthood Federation of America - Get FREEEEEE EC
Monday, November 20, 2006
Sex Toys Around the World Challenge!
We have a challenge to all of our friends and members:
Have been inspired by the Mr. Limpy given to our boss by Fleshlight, we are embarking on a challenge. We're going to start a sex toys around the world campaign. We're based here in Philadelphia, and have all sorts of famous landmarks here, and over the next few months, we'll take pictures with Mr. Limpy all over the city - check out our blog and pictures for updates!
Our challenge to you is to send us pictures for your favorite sex toys (vibrators, dildos, anal plugs, nipple clamps, you name it) in locations you might not normally find them...if you're a conductor, let's see your toys on the train. if you're a skater, let's see your dildo doing a double axel. Photos will be posted in various Hot Movies for Her blogs. Most creative photos will get bragging right :)
Come on ladies, I know you've got it in you. Let's show the world how FABULOUS our sex toys really are.
Keep checking here or on myspace as we post our pictures of our new found friend, as well as those send in by readers!
Please send pictures to:
em@hotmoviesforher.com in a .jpeg, .gif or .bmp format
or
Hot Movies For Her
106 South 7th St
Philadelphia, PA 19106
Can't wait to see the pictures!
Essin' Em
Have been inspired by the Mr. Limpy given to our boss by Fleshlight, we are embarking on a challenge. We're going to start a sex toys around the world campaign. We're based here in Philadelphia, and have all sorts of famous landmarks here, and over the next few months, we'll take pictures with Mr. Limpy all over the city - check out our blog and pictures for updates!
Our challenge to you is to send us pictures for your favorite sex toys (vibrators, dildos, anal plugs, nipple clamps, you name it) in locations you might not normally find them...if you're a conductor, let's see your toys on the train. if you're a skater, let's see your dildo doing a double axel. Photos will be posted in various Hot Movies for Her blogs. Most creative photos will get bragging right :)
Come on ladies, I know you've got it in you. Let's show the world how FABULOUS our sex toys really are.
Keep checking here or on myspace as we post our pictures of our new found friend, as well as those send in by readers!
Please send pictures to:
em@hotmoviesforher.com in a .jpeg, .gif or .bmp format
or
Hot Movies For Her
106 South 7th St
Philadelphia, PA 19106
Can't wait to see the pictures!
Essin' Em
Friday, November 17, 2006
Sex Toy Review: Hitachi Magic Wand
Wow. That is all I can say to this. Now, I have had my fair share of vibes, and had no idea why there was such a buzz about the Hitachi Magic Wand…but when I bought my first one last summer, it took all of about 30 seconds for me to understand why it was such a big deal. It is AMAZING. No contest. This vibrator is to all other vibrators what the Rocky Mountains are to an anthill. I honestly don't think I left my bedroom for about 3 days, just experimenting with all of the wonderful things you can do with the magic wand; you can use in on your nipples, your clit, your thighs, your back, anywhere feels great. It even comes with attachments for vibrating penetration. I play rough with my toys, and this one is no different, but it's still whirring just as well as it was the day I bought it. I was originally concerned about the cord, but let me tell you, it's well worth it to figure out where your outlets are just to use this toy, and think of all the money you'll save on batteries! This toy is hands down the best investment I've ever made; give it a try and let the wand work its magic on you!
The Magic of Hitachi
Sex tips; female ejacutation!
To Squirt or Not To Squirt; there is the rub!
So of you may have heard about the occurrence of female ejaculation, and may be wondering whether it's a myth, a fact of life, or some combination of the two. I was two, so I decided to do a little research of my own, and report back to y'all about my findings.Yes, female ejaculation exists. No, it's not urine. And if you're like me, and sometimes judge things off of what appears in porn; never fear. Not every film that has female ejaculation is the real deal. In fact, most women that experience ejaculation report about a teaspoon of liquid coming out. Some women have more, some have less, but most don't have 2 cups spurting out from their nether regions.What is it and where does it come from? I know I was always nervous about my partner thinking that I was peeing during sex, so I wanted to know exactly what this strange substance was. Well, you have probably heard about the g-spot, the spongy vaginal area that when aroused provides fabulous sensation (IMHO!) that can be reached by inserting two fingers into the vulva and making a "come-here" motion. Some people refer to it as the female prostate, but studies have shown that this is probably incorrect. In fact, females DO have a separate prostate, near the opening of the bladder. It's on the other side of the vaginal wall from the G-spot (coincidence? I think not! Our bodies are built for pleasure). When the prostate is stimulated along with the G-spot (usually the clitoris plays a pretty big role in this as well, helping the woman get aroused enough to have a G-spot to stimulate), there is occasionally a release of fluid from both the prostate and bladder (that IS NOT urine). No studies have yet found exactly what the purpose of this fluid is, and the exact content of the ejaculate varies from woman to woman, and even from day to day, depending at what point of the cycle the woman is in.Now, you may ask me, how can I ejaculate? Firstly, while all women have prostates, some may be more prone to ejaculation than others. Secondly, although it is incredibly fun to try to "accomplish" a sexual goal, sometimes the process is just as fun as whether or not you succeed. However, it is incredibly fun to give it a try (trust me, I know!). With that in mind, here are some tips:
*If you decide to explore female ejaculation with a partner, make sure it is someone with whom you are comfortable, and that you trust. Sex is complicated enough; doing it while not relaxed is just plain challenging. I know that it takes me some time to let both my body and mind calm down; so figure out what does it for you, and then do it!
*Begin the process of sexual play; kissing, rubbing, pinching, whatever it is that turns you on. If you're not turned on, it's not gonna happen. Talk to your partners, let them know what you want. Sometimes I feel bossy, but if it helps them know what works for me, then mission accomplished.
*To stimulate the G-spot, either have your partner insert their fingers (usually index and middle) into your vagina, pointing upwards (towards your belly button) and make the "come hither motion" or head on over to your friendly, neighborhood Babeland.com and check out some of the G-spot stimulation vibes and dildos. It make take a little trial and error to figure out what is best for your body, but when you find the right one, you'll just know!
*Don't forget that clitoral stimulation is pretty important. The G-spot goes into hiding until a woman is aroused, and that's the best time to stimulate it. As most women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, now would be an ideal time to go search for the little man in the canoe.
*If you don't succeed the first time, don't be disappointed. You can't honestly tell me you didn't have SOME fun trying it out – I know I did (and let me tell you, I've tried it several times…don't give up. It'll come and so will you). It may or may not happen, and you can always try again…enjoy the attempt as well as the end product!
So of you may have heard about the occurrence of female ejaculation, and may be wondering whether it's a myth, a fact of life, or some combination of the two. I was two, so I decided to do a little research of my own, and report back to y'all about my findings.Yes, female ejaculation exists. No, it's not urine. And if you're like me, and sometimes judge things off of what appears in porn; never fear. Not every film that has female ejaculation is the real deal. In fact, most women that experience ejaculation report about a teaspoon of liquid coming out. Some women have more, some have less, but most don't have 2 cups spurting out from their nether regions.What is it and where does it come from? I know I was always nervous about my partner thinking that I was peeing during sex, so I wanted to know exactly what this strange substance was. Well, you have probably heard about the g-spot, the spongy vaginal area that when aroused provides fabulous sensation (IMHO!) that can be reached by inserting two fingers into the vulva and making a "come-here" motion. Some people refer to it as the female prostate, but studies have shown that this is probably incorrect. In fact, females DO have a separate prostate, near the opening of the bladder. It's on the other side of the vaginal wall from the G-spot (coincidence? I think not! Our bodies are built for pleasure). When the prostate is stimulated along with the G-spot (usually the clitoris plays a pretty big role in this as well, helping the woman get aroused enough to have a G-spot to stimulate), there is occasionally a release of fluid from both the prostate and bladder (that IS NOT urine). No studies have yet found exactly what the purpose of this fluid is, and the exact content of the ejaculate varies from woman to woman, and even from day to day, depending at what point of the cycle the woman is in.Now, you may ask me, how can I ejaculate? Firstly, while all women have prostates, some may be more prone to ejaculation than others. Secondly, although it is incredibly fun to try to "accomplish" a sexual goal, sometimes the process is just as fun as whether or not you succeed. However, it is incredibly fun to give it a try (trust me, I know!). With that in mind, here are some tips:
*If you decide to explore female ejaculation with a partner, make sure it is someone with whom you are comfortable, and that you trust. Sex is complicated enough; doing it while not relaxed is just plain challenging. I know that it takes me some time to let both my body and mind calm down; so figure out what does it for you, and then do it!
*Begin the process of sexual play; kissing, rubbing, pinching, whatever it is that turns you on. If you're not turned on, it's not gonna happen. Talk to your partners, let them know what you want. Sometimes I feel bossy, but if it helps them know what works for me, then mission accomplished.
*To stimulate the G-spot, either have your partner insert their fingers (usually index and middle) into your vagina, pointing upwards (towards your belly button) and make the "come hither motion" or head on over to your friendly, neighborhood Babeland.com and check out some of the G-spot stimulation vibes and dildos. It make take a little trial and error to figure out what is best for your body, but when you find the right one, you'll just know!
*Don't forget that clitoral stimulation is pretty important. The G-spot goes into hiding until a woman is aroused, and that's the best time to stimulate it. As most women need clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, now would be an ideal time to go search for the little man in the canoe.
*If you don't succeed the first time, don't be disappointed. You can't honestly tell me you didn't have SOME fun trying it out – I know I did (and let me tell you, I've tried it several times…don't give up. It'll come and so will you). It may or may not happen, and you can always try again…enjoy the attempt as well as the end product!
Welcome to the Hot Movies For Her Blog!
Hey all -
I'm Essin' Em, and am the newest addition to the Hot Movies For Her team, and am your new resident Sexpert (and I'm even getting my Master's in Human Sexuality, so how's that for qualified). I'll try and post a sex toy review, and a sex tips blog weekly for all you lovely ladies. If you have any sex questions for me, go ahead and send me a message on myspace, leave a comment on the blog, or email me at em@hotmoviesforher.com . If I don't know the answer, I promise I'll do my best to find it for you! Also, I'll be writing a bunch of movie reviews; I am completely honest with my reviews; I'll only suggest movies that I actually like. If you have any suggestions for movies for me to watch, shoot me a line, and I'll give it a try.I am so excited to be part of the HotMoviesForHer team and can't wait to hear from you.
Essin' Em
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