Sex Tips: Time to Take it Off!

I am considering doing a strip show for my partner (private, of course!), but I am not sure how to do it. Plus, I'm a little uncomfortable with my body, and I am not sure if they'll find me attractive if they see me naked in full light. Help!

-Disrobing in Des Moines

Stripping off (as they say on the other side of the pond) can be a ton of fun for both you and your partner.

However, this is not the kind of thing you should do because you think it's just the "thing to do," and if you're uncomfortable with this idea (not nervous, but genuinely uncomfortable), don't do it. It is a nice addition to a sexual experience, but it certainly won't make or break it, and if you're not into it, it's just not going to be fun for anyone involved.

The most important thing to think about (in my opinion) is the music. Music sets the mood, it makes you feel more comfortable, and it helps you decide when you're ready to begin. Plus, I just really love music. You can strip to pretty much anything (and I've proved this by stripping to a German drinking song, so don't argue), which means that you should choose music that YOU like, and that makes you feel sexy. Don't think that you have to throw on rap, or slow and sultry anything. If Beethoven does it for you, so be it. Want to get naked to Yanni? Go for it! Does Frank Sinatra inspire you to take off your clothes? Well, he was one of the sexiest men ever, makes sense to me. If you want to be more sensuous, look for a long song with a slower beat, whereas if you're ready to be a hip gyrating wild child, you will want something faster and more upbeat.

Songs I personally like for my strip shows:

*Pour Some Sugar on Me (Def Leppard)


*Seventeen (Ladytron)


*Cum on Feel the Noize (Quiet Riot)


*Lady in Red (Chris De Burgh)


*Sexual Healing (Marvin Gaye)


*Closer (Nine Inch Nails)


*Enjoy the Silence (Depeche Mode)


*Engel (Rammstein)


*New Age Girl (Dead Eye Dick)


*Centerfold (J Geils Band)


*Sexyback (Justin Timberlake)

Once you have the music, you need to plan out your outfit. I mean yes, you are just going to be taking it off, but I'm assuming you want to look cute to start with, right? Again, it's time to be self-aware and choose things that fit your personality. If you picture yourself in a cute little pink see through baby doll, clearly you're more comfortable in that than a leather corset and studded thong. It does not matter what strippers wear in clubs - you're making your own club, so wear what you want. Maybe you love your breasts, and want to emphasize them? Try a demi bra or a bustier. Love your butt and want to make it the focal point? Choose an adorable pair of underwear that you just love. Think your legs are sexy as hell? Grab some thigh highs (or go whole-hog and get a garter belt…I LOVE ladies wearing garter belts) to show case your gams. Don't forget the accessories: jewelry, boas, maybe a hat. Whatever you think makes you look good, that's what you should wear.

Now that you've got the music and the outfit, it's time to think about your moves. I know I'm repeating myself, but do what you like to do, not what the dancer did at the last club you went to. Move to the rhythm of the music, feeling the beats inside of you. If you have something with buttons, undo them slowly…each button revealing another glimpse of Eden. Zippers can be done tantalizingly as well, one centimeter at a time. If you're more wild, start with an item of clothing you don't care about, and rip it off your body. Keep this clothing removal in mind when picking out your outfits. If it took you hours to get that full-length skintight latex dresses, for example, it's probably not going to make the best outfit for a striptease.

Dancing doesn't have to involve the splits or shimming down a pole. It can be just swaying back and forth - you have hips for a reason - a little shimmy of the breasts here and there…or it can be as much as a mostly choreographed routine, complete with booty shaking and "come hither" finger motions. Just do what you enjoy, and dance how you like to dance…and take off your clothes as you go.

Don't take everything off all at once…or even at all. One of the most popular stripper songs is "You Can Leave Your Hat On" and you can choose to leave any article of clothing on your hot body. Leave on your stockings, or a collar, or gloves (oooh! Satin or lace gloves look hot with almost any outfit!), or yes, even your hat. Once you've removed the majority of clothes, you can keep dancing or at least moving to the beat until your partner can't take it anymore and is ready to jump you. Let them jump…and have a fabulous time!

Taking it off,

Essin' Em

Learn a little more about taking it off from Nina Hartley's Guide to Stripping for your Partner: