Sex Tips; Split, Spit or Swallow

I’m dating a new guy, and we’re getting to the point where I’m ready to go down on him…I just don’t know whether I should “spit or swallow”. Can you give me some advice?
– Questioning in Quebec

This question, the question of “spit or swallow” is as old as the day is long, and is one of the most frequently asked of sex columnists all over the world. It may have taken me a while, but I have finally decided to tackle it in the most informative way that I can.

 

Firstly, there are actually three choices; spit, swallow, or don’t have him come in your mouth. No, really, I’m serious, that is a totally valid choice, particularly if the reason someone spits is because of the taste. If it’s in your mouth long enough to spit it out, you’re still going to have the taste, but if it isn’t ever in your mouth in the first place, that’s one less thing to worry about, right? 

Now, let’s say you decide that you do in fact want to receive ejaculate in your mouth (and you deciding is the key part; don’t let anyone ever tell you that EVERYONE does it that way, or that you HAVE to do it; totally untrue). This is when those good ol’ stand by options come into play; spit or swallow. 

All is going well, and now he’s beginning to get there; the point of no return. You have a decision to make; split, spit or swallow. You’ve decided not to split - you’re going to stick it out, but how do you decide whether to imbibe? 

It’s a personal choice that you get to make all by yourself. Some women enjoying swallowing for a variety of reasons. Maybe it’s for easier clean up (no tissue or towels needed), maybe it’s the taste (it is preferred by some), maybe it’s a variety of other reasons. On the other hand, some women are proud to be “spitters”; they enjoy the act of giving oral sex, but at the end, they chose not to swallow their partners’ semen. Why? For some it’s just the idea, for others it’s the taste; again, it’s a very personal thing to decide, and no one can just give you the right answer. 

Couple of important notes (and I asked the guys in the office to double check): swallowing is not necessary. At all. One guy said he even preferred that she didn’t swallow. As one guy put it “I don’t care, as long as I get to release my semen. I don’t really care what happens to it after that.” Not swallowing is not going to ruin the sexual experience for the guy, it’s not going to be the worst blow job he’s ever had because you didn’t swallow. You do or you don’t, but as long as you’re both having fun, that’s the part that matters. If you do choose the spitting option, it is more polite (and probably a little more appreciated by the guy) if you don’t spit it across the room, or right in front of him. Some discreet tissue action, or a quick trip to the bathroom can go a long way. 

Ejaculate (made up of both sperm and seminal fluid) contains about 6 calories per tablespoon. It’s fat free (in case anyone was wondering), and contains trace amounts of calcium, zinc, B12, magnesium, nitrogen, chloride, and other substances (but unfortunately, not enough replace your multi-vitamin if you do swallow). It does not clearly up acne (hmm, wonder who started that rumor), and it cannot make you pregnant if you swallow it (although oral sex does put you at risk for STIs; check out our safer sex guide to read up on protecting yourself). 

All in all, this is a decision for you to make; split, spit or swallow. You can certainly talk to your partner about what he may prefer, but remember, it’s up to you. No pressure. If you chose to swallow, you’re not going to get fat, but sadly, you’re not going to get perfect skin either. 

Open wide (or not!),

Essin’ Em

Some things just taste *that* good;Sweet Taste of Honey:

Email Essin' Em your questions!

Movie Review: The Bridal Shower

The Bridal Shower

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Studio: Femme Productions Category: By Women

A bit of an older movie (you can tell by the hair and the clothes), with my all time favorite star, Nina Hartley, “The Bridal Shower” is a fun film about a group of girls that get together for what else; a bridal shower. As they’re opening presents, and some adult toys come out, they begin to discuss their current relationships, and the sex they’re having with their partners. It seems that all of them have had some issues with their men that they’ve had to work around. I really enjoyed the scene with Melissa Hill, as she gets blindfolded by her partner, who then eats her out until she’s shaking and quivering, and she then returns the favor. Another great scene is the threesome in the kitchen - it’s just plain steamy! This film may be a little old, but sex is never outdated, and this is a great film to watch; by yourself, with your partner, or with the girls. Enjoy!
-Essin’ Em

Movie Review: Fistful of Musketeers

Fistful of Musketeers

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Studio: Jill Kelly Productions Category: Features

What a fun and refreshing film! First of all, the cast is great, and features two of my favorite guys; Kurt Lockwood and Randy Spears. Why do I love them so much? Because they’re both more than just a big dick; they’re funny as hell, and can actually act to boot, and best of all, they don’t take themselves too seriously throughout the movie. The cast makes jokes during the film regarding bad wigs, confusing plot lines, and other such randomness, and some of the lines are AMAZING. My favorite is “later on, I plan to fuck Lady Tyler so hard, her dead parents have orgasms.” I was dying of laughter for an hour! The sex scenes are good in this too, and there is some good pussy licking, and awesome fucking, as well as both girl/girl and boy/girl scenes. The fake French accents are hilarious, as is the literary reference to Cyrano as Kurt Lockwood attempts to serenade Lady Tyler with an electric guitar. This feature actually has a plot, something that has become increasingly rare in adult films, and a good one at that. Lots of sex, hot stars, witty one-liners, and a decent story line; what more do could you ask for from a porno? Definitely worth watching, but be prepared to laugh your ass off!
-Essin’ Em

The Lesbian Bride's Handbook

The journey of a bride in planning her "gay wedding/party about love" is a long and difficult trek, but quite interesting and amusing to read about.

A real wedding was not something I was raised to want. My parents were bohemians of a sort, and real weddings were like real jobs: square. As my mother has managed to mention on numerous occasions, she would have liked to elope, but to please her parents, there was a modest reception; she told them to do whatever they wanted and that she and my father would show up. When Amy and I announced that we intended to have a wedding—not a real wedding, of course, but something festive, something that expressed the scale of our glee—my mother’s response was less than gushing. “How can you feel okay about spending all that money on one day?” she wanted to know.

I am not a total idiot. I always had the sense to say no wedding cake, no officiant, no first dance, no here comes the bride, no Times announcement, and absolutely no white dress. Who are we kidding? And why? We just wanted a big, awesome party where everyone could meet and go bananas. It’s a special opportunity, you know: The only other time everyone you love will assemble in one place is at your funeral. (At most weddings, some people you don’t actually love will also be in attendance. But the silver lining of my parents’ being irreverent and Amy’s parents’ being in denial is that we didn’t have to invite anyone we didn’t want to.) The thing is, though, you have to serve something, and you can’t very well go naked.

I’m not going to lie to you: My gay wedding rocked. My oldest friend, Jesse, played “Crimson and Clover” on his electric guitar when we walked down the mountain, and I can still feel the sound of that song reverberating in my chest. My mother wore high heels and makeup for the first time I can remember and danced until one in the morning. There were these amazing pink margaritas everyone kept drinking. Mrs. Norquist gave Amy the handkerchief her mother gave her on her wedding day: “Something blue,” she said, and that’s all she said on the subject. That and “Isn’t that gorgeous!” when she saw my gown. She still can’t quite bring herself to call what happened in September a wedding. But then, for a long time, neither could I.

The dress is still hanging in my closet, which has less to do with my being sentimental than it does with eBay’s being really complicated. I can’t imagine that I’ll ever wear it again, partly because mine is not a black-tie life, and also because I doubt very much that I could get back into it. (When conservatives discuss the perils of gay marriage, they fail to mention its most pernicious consequence: Gay marriage, like all marriage, is extremely fattening.) One of these days I’ll sell it, though: That thing cost a fortune, and who could feel okay about keeping something so expensive hanging in a garment bag? Amy I’m keeping.

I'm not married and haven't been to too many weddings (although I *am* a minister with the ULC and do perform them!), but I really enjoyed Ariel Levy's account of her fabulous wedding/PAL (party about love). It's a feel good story for a tiring Thursday.

Essin' Em

Read the whole Lesbian Bride's Handbook

Where The Sun Don’t Shine 2 Toys! Toys! Toys!

Where The Sun Don’t Shine 2 Toys! Toys! Toys!

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Studio: Defiant Productions Category: Solo Male

It seems like every guy wants to try out a little ass-play and they are getting more and more used to admitting it. So as soon as Juice, the young Latino guy in the first scene, starts rubbing himself through his cargo shorts, you realize this isn’t going to be your average “straight dude jerks off” kind of movie. He introduces us to the “friends” he has brought along: two toys for his ass. One is a tapered purple dildo perfect for anal play. Juice takes it on his back, but quickly switches to the other, a longer, ridged model while he talks dirty and fucks himself with one leg in the air. You’ll like watching him jerk his stubby, bullet-headed dick until he squirts a load all over his hairy little belly…and, of course, hits the wall behind him with a few drops.

Ricky, a rough-looking white guy, is up next; his toy of choice is a thick double-headed dong that he takes with gusto. But you can tell that he wishes he wasn’t alone and wishes he had a friend whose ass wanted to try out the other end of that dildo. 

The next dude is one of the hottest, with a fresh-faced Irish look. I think I like him so much because he’s wearing a wallet chain on his jeans, and trying to act all skater tough. He says he’s straight blah blah blah and gets hard to the moans and cries of the pussy porn pounding away in the background, but he clearly likes his ass and wastes no time before reaching underneath his big balls and massaging his asshole. If you’ve ever played with a boyfriend’s ass or jerked off with your girlfriend thinking about what to do with a guy’s tight hole, check out the range of positions this dude shows us: his legs in the air with the purple toy from the first scene, up on his knees with a small orange dildo and then on his back. He’s one of the few who comes with the toy inside him, rubbing his dick with one hand and fucking himself furiously with the other. 

Other highlights are the dude in a baseball cap with really hairy legs and the terse boy with a goatee in the finale scene, who takes one of those enormous toys that’s longer than his arm and thicker than his wrist (!) and tastes his own cum.
-Don Wiener 

Join the fight against HIV and AIDS by stuffing your face!

Forget Smokey the Bear. You can do a whole lot more than prevent forrest fires. You can also join the fight against AIDS.

Thursday, April 26, 2007 is Dining Out For Life Day. In cities all around North America (Yup, our friends from the North have joined in as well!), participating restaurants will donate 33% (or in some cases, more) of their profits to the fight against HIV and AIDS - research, treatment, etc. What do you have to do to join this amazing cause? Eat. Better yet, eat delicious and tasty food.

Each metro area that is participating has dozens and dozens of restaurants. Some for lunch, some for lunch and dinner, and at least in the Philly area, one or two that are also part of Dining Out For Life during the breakfast hours. If you live in/near one of the areas that is involved, you're bound to see at least of a few of your favorite places on the list. You like to eat there anyways, why not make sure you get a yummy meal and fight against this horrible illness at the same time?

I'll be going out for BOTH lunch and dinner. I'd do so weekly if I could. This is a great way to reconnect with friends for a great cause - call/e-mail/text all your friends, and call up for a group reservation. We're making it a ladies night out, to enjoy ourselves, as well as support a great cause. I hope to see many of you out and about, and that many more of you participate across the continent.

Essin' Em

Dining Out For Life - Join the fight against AIDS

Movie Review: Hot Vampire Nights

Hot Vampire Nights

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Studio: Seduction Cinema Category: Softcore

Be careful of strangers in the night; you never know when one of them might be a vampire with a lust for beautiful women’s bodies. In this soft core flick, Mina is a gorgeous vampire that goes around Miami, devouring the bodies of hot ladies, turning these straight humans into lesbian vampires. This movie is in fact soft core, so if you find yourself turning the channel to “Skinamax” in the later part of the evenings, then you’ll “Hot Vampire Nights,” which features hot women, beautiful settings, and lots of calm background music, without being an X-Rated movie. However, if you want to see some lady parts, or some fucking, then this movie will disappoint, as it will get you riled up, and then not go any farther. I love Mina’s outfits, I could do without all of the music, but over all, a fun and amusing soft-core film.
-Essin’ Em

Lesbian Sex Book "traumatizes" teenage boys

Who knew that one little bity book about lesbians could be *so* traumatizing. Clearly, lesbians will be taking over the world in the near future.

The father of two teenage boys wants $20,000 from his city for the damage sustained by his sons when they found a book on lesbian sex on a public library bookshelf, KOCO-TV in Oklahoma City reported.

The boys, ages 14 and 16, were searching for material on military academies but came across "The Whole Lesbian Sex Book" by Felice Newman. Adams said that finding the books "greatly disturbed" his sons and that the book caused "many sleepless nights in our house.".

TThe library's board voted to pull the book from circulation after the incident and find a replacement, with one board member hoping it could be replaced with one that takes a more clinical approach. If no replacement could be found, the board said, "The Whole Lesbian Sex Book" would go back on the shelf.

I'm just wondering how these boys "accidently" came across this book when looking for information on Military Academies. Oh well...don't ask, don't tell.

Essin' Em

The Whole Article at Gay.com

Movie Review: Blacklight Beauty

Blacklight Beauty

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Studio: Pulse Pictures Category: Kinky

This movie directed by Jack the Zipper is absolutely artistically stunning. The lighting, the outfits (especially the shoes), the angles they used to shoot it; it’s all beautiful. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect from “Blacklight Beauty,” as I had heard great recommendations for it, but never really exactly what it is. And now that I’ve watched it, I’m still not sure quite how to describe it. It’s not a feature, not a mainstream film, not an amateur shoot. It’s a lot of sex. With different people (including the majority of the hot punk and alternative girls in the industry), different and interesting locations, and different scenarios. Some of the stuff I was into (especially the girl on girl scene with Jade Starr, who is unbelievably hot!), and some wasn’t as much my scene (like the 5 or 6 guy gang bang/suck fest in the movie theatre). However, regardless of whether the scenes happened to fit my taste in porn, I enjoyed watching them anyways, just for the purely amazing aesthetic quality of the film. A beautifully made series of sex filled vignettes, this movie delivered far more than it promised (and since it promised nothing, at least that’s something), and is worth a gander.
-Essin’ Em

Sex Toy Review; Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex

One of my favorite (if not my number one favorite) women in this industry is none other than the amazing Nina Hartley. I love her personality, her look, her education guides, and her feminist and sex-positive views on sex and sexuality. She is wonderful, and just got better - she wrote a book called "Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex" and I was lucky enough to get to review it - FABULOUS! It is well organized, and has chapters on basically each "main" genre of sex; from cunnilingus to BDSM, threesomes to anal, it's all in this very special book. Better yet, she approaches sex in a healthy and a happy way, focusing on individuals and communication - just what I like to hear! I recommend it to everyone, and have copies on order for all my friends. PLEASE get yourself a copy, and you just tell me if you don't read it cover to cover!

Click here to read my whole review and buy the OUTSTANDING book that is "Nina Hartley's Guide to Total Sex"

Penis Owners Manual

I think not having a penis makes learning about them *that* much more interesting...but who knew that a penis in good condition would be valued at £50,000???

HARD STARTING OR STALLING

If your penis fails to become erect, even after repeated cranking, or if you have trouble maintaining an erection, let it idle for a while. Just about every man experiences an occasional erection problem, so try not to let it bother you. If you do it can develop into a psychological problem that can require extensive systems analysis to remedy. Chances are you are just temporarily flooded with work worries, anxiety or fatigue - all of which can temporarily foul your engine. If the problem continues, ask your mechanic about a new injector.

HANDLING

In order to become familiar with the natural feel of your equipment and learn how it responds in different situations high speed sexual driving on a closed circuit can be helpful. According to a recent survey, nearly one tenth of British men do this weekly (a greater ration in the North of England naturally). And contrary to popular belief , it will not harm your equipment, in fact, it can be viewed as good practice lap for sex, where you're forever flirting with the limits of control.

Wow - they make it sound so complicated. I have never had any trouble operating one. Maybe they're having user error issues?

Essin' Em

Check Out the WHOLE Article

Sex Tips; Sex From A Different View

I’ve started seeing a guy who is a paraplegic. I really like him, but I also want to be sexually active…what do I do?
-Concerned and Confused in Columbus

Close your eyes and head to memory lane as I take you back to one of this first things you learned, maybe even before you reached kindergarten; we’re all different and unique (and special, sure). No two people are the same, and we have different abilities and talents, and different challenges as well.

 I’m writing today on sex for different types of people. Not everyone has the use of four limbs, two eyes, two ears, and so on. Some people are born with different abilities such as this, and some are injured, either permanently or temporarily. Unfortunately, some people see someone differently-abled than them, and immediately write them off as non-sexual, which is sad, wrong, and couldn’t be further from the truth. 

Everyone has things that make sex challenging; maybe you’re less flexible than you’d like, or you have trouble trusting, or maybe you and your partner have a height difference of a foot or two. Other people may have had the loss of use of one or more of their limbs, or might not be able to visually see their partner. Sex isn’t supposed to be easy, but it is supposed to be enjoyable, and we need to realize that everyone’s definition of enjoyable is different. 

I just met a therapist who had counseled a couple, of which one partner had recently become a quadriplegic. This woman and her partner were very concerned about their sex life. After working in therapy for a few months, doing all sorts of tactile and pleasure based exercises, this woman was able to have an orgasm by having her forearm stroked in a certain way by her partner. Her partner was happy that she was getting pleasure, and the woman was happy to still be a sexual being. Sex is not tied to the genitals, nor is it only defined by intercourse; there are hundreds of ways to be sexual. 

Communication, as always, is key. Some people get frustrated about not being able to do everything they wish they could do, and other get upset that they are not able to orgasm, or that their partner is not able to orgasm, and fear that this might make them or their partner feel inadequate. This is where communication comes. Talk to your partner about your goals, your hopes, your worries and your fears. Maybe you’ve lost feeling in your vagina, and your partner feels guilty that they still have feeling in their genital region, and feel selfish that they can have genital orgasms. Once you’ve talked about things so that the two of you are aware of what you’re both thinking, it’s time to start exploring. 

Lie down together. Taking turns, explore each other’s bodies. You might have to get creative; if you don’t have feeling in your hands, maybe stroke your partner if your forearms. Discover what things feel good to you and your partner, as compare to what society says has to feel good. Sexual sensations and pleasures come in all forms from all different areas. Maybe you’ll find a new spot that brings waves of pleasure, or a new motion that really does it for your partner. 

Sex is not limited to beautiful, young people that have the use of all their (what society deems) senses. Everyone is a sexual being, regardless of their abilities, and it is high time that we though of people this way. People of all abilities can both give and receive pleasure, it just requires, like all good sex, lots of great communication and experimentation. 

Open up your mind; you never know what you might find,

Essin’ Em

Email Essin' Em your questions!

Movie Review: Anna Span's Diary Series #5 - Toy With Me

Anna Span’s Diary Series #5 - Toy With Me

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Studio: Anna Span’s Diary Category: By Women

First of all; BRITISH ACCENTS. Secondly, British Humor. Third, directed by a sex positive female. And lastly? Toys, and lots of them. These four secret ingredients make up the fabulous film that is “Anna Span’s Diary Series #5 - Toy With Me.” These women like their toys, and they make sure that their partners do too. Favorite scene would be number 2, where the strapping young British lad attempts to pick up the two barkeeps at his local pub. After convincing them that he always takes care of the woman first, they bring out a big bag o’ toys (honestly, who has that many toys at a bar??) and plays with both of them, while at the same time, they’re playing with each other. Moreover, I love the wittiness and randomness of British humor, and I almost died laughing when in the third scene, the lady of the house invites her exterminator into the living room for a slice of cake. She sits down, opens her legs, and guides him to her pussy. Right before he starts licking, he murmurs “and I thought it would be Victorian Sponge!” Humor + sex + accents + a woman’s point of view come together to produce a wonderful movie!
-Essin’ Em

Movie Review: Working Girlz

• Working Girlz

  

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  Studio: Working Girl Video Category: Lesbian

  Holy dyke sex batman! I couldn’t believe my eyes when I found this film; it’s one of the first films I’ve seen that not only has real lesbians, but it also has women of all different types. I’m personally partial to the ladies with a little more of a butch side, so I really enjoyed seeing this film, in which two of the three vignettes featured butch-femme pairings. The first scene, between Nina and Trouble, was by far my favorite. Firstly, Nina is sizzling, and I also really liked the setting (hey, I’d would definitely get it on in an abandoned warehouse or a house under construction), but most importantly was the vibe, and I don’t mean the battery operated kind. The feel of this scene (and the rest of the film as well) is of two people, who are really attracted to each other, having hot, spontaneous, enjoyable sex. Definitely steamy! I also enjoyed the last scene, which featured an attractive real-life couple, a little bondage, some nice strap on sex, and fucking on top of the secretary’s desk. A great movie, with more realistic dyke sex than I’ve seen in almost any other film, and the women are certainly hot. Top of my list!
  -Essin’ Em

London to open sex amusement park!

Who's ready to take a field trip to London??? Beacause a sex amusement park sounds way more fun than your average roller coaster.

Visitors to Amora - The Academy of Sex and Relationships at the Trocadero in Piccadilly, will pass through seven zones including Pleasure and Orgasm.

People will also be able to build their ideal partner from a series of body parts and there will be instructions on how best to kiss and how to talk more sexily.

The seven zones will start with attraction, love and relationships and include a sexual well-being zone which looks at the dangers of unsafe sex.

Not that I didn't love London before, but I have to say that this is probably my favorite destination now!

Essin' Em

The Whole Article at BBCNews.co.uk

Kelly Payne and Sydni Ellis - Oh my!

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Movie Review: Pedro and Daniel - Private Sessions

Pedro and Daniel - Private Sessions

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Studio: Collin O’Neal Productions Category: Gay

I’ve spent enough time talking to women about porn to know a lot of you share my fascination with gay porn. I have my own theory on why so many women love watching two men together, but why explain it when you can watch Pedro And Daniel - Private Sessions from Collin O’Neal Productions! These boys live together in Mexico and are near perfect examples of the male figure. This committed couple show off their chemistry (and other assets) in two hot scenes. Don’t miss out on the second scene which features our boys decked out in leather fucking on a bar; it’s dark, dirty, and oh so good! Whether you’re already a fan of gay porn, or looking to explore a new realm, this movie is one you should definitely check out.
-The Porn Librarian

Kelly Payne and Sydni Ellis - oh my!

Ladies, have we got a treat for you! Kelly Payne has done an EXCLUSIVE interview with us, AND we've got a new column from Sydni Ellis up on our site. It doesn't get any better than that :) Kelly talks about how she got into the adult insdustry, and gives some interesting insight on the BDSM scene, while Sydni talks about what it takes to be a truly amazing performer in the industry.

This column and interview should not be missed! Check them out, along with sex tips, sex toy reviews, and thousands of movies at www.hotmoviesforher.com!

Questions, comments, pick up lines, etc? Contact me at Essin’ Em (em@hotmoviesforher.com)

Much love, and HAPPY HUMP DAY!
-Essin' Em

Movie Review: Before They Were Stars - Volume 1

Before They Were Stars - Volume 1

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Studio: Pink Visual Category: Amateur - Up and Coming

Ever wonder where porn stars come from, or what they’re made of? Well, this movie shows some of my (and hopefully your) favorite stars back in the day, before they graced box covers and posters. My absolutely favorite scene in this film was with Dana DeArmond, as she goes driving around then neighborhood (on her birthday to boot) to find a hot girl to fuck. The woman she finds has never been with a girl before, and let me tell you, she’s got a lot coming to her (and lots of coming as well!). Dana seduces her, and takes her through the steps to “lesbian sex”. After eating her pussy, and flipping her into a 69, Dana fucks her in a few positions with a strap on, and I can’t get over how much fun she is having, which evident in her impish smile. The other scenes are great as well, including masturbatory orgasms, girl on girl, girl on guy, and more. It’s interesting to see something so plain and simple; beds and couches, instead of huge big-budget features. For me, it made it easier to enjoy the sex they were having, and not get distracted by all the special effects. I really loved this film, and if you only can watch a little bit of it, I totally recommend the Dana DeArmond scene.
-Essin’ Em

Movie Review: Xtasy Airlines

Xtasy Airlines

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Studio: Heatwave Platinum Category: Straight Couples

Airplane movies are hot, and not just because I’d like to woman-handle some of these guys’ cockpits…I mean, what else is there to do on an airplane? This movie is actually a foreign film that has been dubbed over into English, but that is actually more endearing than annoying. The second sex scene is the classic blow job in the airplane lavatory, and I have to say, I need to make a change in the airlines I fly, because while I’m a bit of a germ-a-phobe, even I would enjoy sex in a bathroom this clean, and spacious. I also really enjoyed how much enjoyment the flight attendant seemed to get from listening to the love birds in the lavatory. Later on, I started to wish I was a flight attendant, because of all the exciting and exotic destinations they get to visit (and of course, get to fuck at). Seriously, who doesn’t dream about a good 69 on a pool table, or a blow job on the back of a motorcycle (hey, at least they’re riding on the shoulder!)? A fun film with a little something for everyone.
-Essin’ Em

Sex tips; Does Size Matter?

Does size really matter?
-R.N. via email

This is a question I get asked a lot. Now, I’m going to have to assume that the askers are referring to penises, because in many things in life, size DOES matter. I’m short, and can’t reach the top shelves in my kitchen; size matters. When I want to buy something, and only have a five-dollar bill, then yes, size matters. Trying to fit 6 people into a VW bug; size matters.

 

But all in all, for the most part, size doesn’t matter. Speaking specifically on the penis, the average penis is about 5-7 inches when erect. Some guys have much smaller penises that swell a lot more to reach that size, while others start out bigger, and don’t travel as far…people tend to call these grow-ers vs. show-ers. 

As far as the other end of the spectrum, a woman’s vagina can be from 3 inches to 7 inches in depth (from the opening to the cervix). Depending on the angle of penetration of the penis or sex toy, one can also add about an inch or so if the penis/sex toy goes directly under the cervix. Time to do some math…average penis = 5-7 inches, average vaginal canal = 3-7 inches. Seems like “average” is pretty well coordinated in this biological situation. 

Now, the vaginal walls CAN expand in width (and slightly in length - when aroused, the cervix will tilt up slightly, elongating the vagina a little); not infinitely, but more like a balloon. As a woman becomes turned on, her vaginal walls get a little puffy, and being to expand, and the inner part of her vagina almost balloons up. Some women prefer to feel more filled; what they’re looking for here is not usually a longer penis; rather, they want a thicker penis to fill the vaginal walls. Most penises (and sex toys) fill the vagina quite nicely. 

Some people might have trouble with size; if you have a shorter vagina (let’s say 3 inches), and your partner has a larger than average penis (how about 9 inches), clearly, there is not going to be any thrusting all the way in; there isn’t enough room for all that penis. Never fear; the majority of the sensory receivers and nerves are in the TOP third of the penis (remember this for oral sex as well; deep throating might be fun, or feel naughty, etc, but the more you focus on the third of the penis towards the head, the more sensation you’re giving). So, 3 inch vagina plus the top 1/3 of the penis (which just happens to be 3 inches!) = good times for all. 

Some positions can be used to make size matters more manageable. If your partner has a shorter penis (compared to your vagina), trying rear entry (ie, doggy style) can add an inch or two, as can man on top, with the woman’s legs criss-crossed and pushed against her chest. Have the same problem as above? For a shorter vagina, try side by side entry (either facing each other or spooning), or woman on top, to control exactly how much of that penis is going in there. 

Granted, some guys do have smaller than average penises (they would have to; it IS called average for a reason). However, this shouldn’t be something to make or break a relationship. Firstly, a smaller penis does NOT mean he can’t have sex, or can’t sexually satisfy you. If you tend to get off from intercourse, try some of the positions above to feel more filled. If you’re more of an oral sex or fingering person, than I can’t exactly see what there is to worry about; in fact, rumor has it (no scientific basis what so ever) that guys who may be less endowed in the “nether” regions tend to be WAY more endowed in the “satisfying their partner through other types of sex” area. If you feel that even with all these hints and tips, you’re still not happy with your sex life, talk to your partner about maybe bringing a vibrator or dildo into sex play, foreplay, etc. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have intercourse if that’s what you both like, but it can add the extra something you might need to climax. 

If you call yourself a size queen, and just can’t be with a person who has a smaller penis, you might want to take a second to think about why a large penis is the most important thing when looking for relationship. If you’re just rocking your world by hooking up with guys with larger dicks, than all power to you. But if you’re breaking up good relationships solely because of phallus size, it makes me wonder; what makes a great penis so much better than a great person (especially if that great person is also great under covers, just in different ways than your average stud)? 

For ladies at the other end of the spectrum that might be intimidated by large penises (for a variety of reasons; smaller vagina (yours truly), first time, previously painful experiences, the sheer size of penises in general, etc) - I am with you. However, the same as above can be said to us; why would you give up a good person if their penis just happened to be the size of the Eiffel Tower? There are many many many things to do behind (or in front of) closed doors, and with a patient partner, even the smallest vagina and the biggest penis can figure out how to tango without pain to either party. 

Sizing up the situation,

Essin’ Em

Check out hundreds of positions for penises of all sizes - 365 Sexual Positions:

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Movie Review: Slumber Party 11

Slumber Party 11

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Studio: Shane’s World Studios Category: By Women

First and foremost, I demand to know why the slumber parties I go to don’t have adorable male strippers hoisting me up in the air, and licking and sucking dollar bills off of my nether regions. Clearly, I am going to the wrong types of parties. However, once the stripper leaves, the girls get down to it, and I really mean down to it. There is suck much pussy eating, sucking and fucking going on, it was hard to differentiate one woman’s moans from another. After some super sexy 69s, the dildos come out, and the ladies keep on coming (and the new girl, during her first time with another woman, not only comes, but ejaculates as well. How’s that for a welcome to the queer world?). I will say I was a little frustrated with the dim lighting, especially because they had some great shots of the women’s faces when they were climaxing, and I would have like to have been able to see it a little better. And always, I love that there is no faking of orgasms - if they aren’t quite there, they ask for what they need until they do. Real orgasm = so hot, which makes this film a definite recommendation.
-Essin’ Em

Cake and Cunnilingus Day!

Let them eat cake! And pussy too!

In case you aren't "in the know," April 14th is the offical "Cake and Cunnilingus Day" (no, I'm really not kidding, check out the site at CakeandCunnilingus.com)

That's right ladies, it's time for your pussies to get the loving that they deserve. So stand up, lie down, or put your legs over your head, and tell your lovers that it's all going down on April 14th, including them.

This is for people of all genders, all sexualities, etc. Besides, doesn't everyone love pussy and cake? I know I do!

Not into cake? The site suggests Muffins and Muff-Diving Day! Pudding and Pussylicking Day! As a veggie, I'd willingly celebrate Hummus and Head Day! However you celebrate it, just remember it's the thought (and the actions!) that count :)

I, sadly, am partnerless, but I will sure as hell be celebrating the cake part...and don't worry, my vibrator will be getting a work out as well ;)

Enjoy!

-Essin' Em www.hotmoviesforher.com

Speical Movie Review; Afrodite Stuperstar

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Movie Review: Sexercise!

Sexercise

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Studio: Mistique Productions Category: Outdoors

A hot outdoor setting, a cute European couple, sex in the wild, what more could a girl want? I originally chose this film to watch for its’ title, but it was far better than that. The two stars clearly enjoy each others company, and are having an awesome time together. They move a little slowly for my liking. The girl clearly can handle more teasing than I can; at one point I almost shouted at the screen “for god’s sake, touch her pussy!” (but I restrained myself, I’m not that insane…yet). But there is more of my favorite; a good helping of awesome pussy eating, which leads into the traditional blow job, and then of course, hot sex in the woods. The girls moans and facial expressions are arousing, and you can deal she really is having a fun time with this guy. Better yet, it leads to a hot shower/bath scene. This movie had a great setting, hot stars who really got me into it, and wonderful sex. I’m not going to lie; there is absolutely no plot, and all talking is covered by either music or the sound of the shower, so if you’re looking for a feature film, this is not for you. Otherwise, give “Sexercise” a try!
-Essin’ Em

Movie Review: Who Wants to be an Erotic Billionaire

Who Wants to be an Erotic Billionaire

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Studio: Seduction Cinema Category: Spoofs

This movie = HILARIOUS. I mean sex aside, the game show hostess kept cracking me up. Her wry and witty sense of humor made this entire film worth watching. The premise; a game show in which contestants compete for both a billion dollars and a chance to get it on with Bambi (the Vanna White of this show) is certainly not in line for any Oscars, but the film is funny, amusing and has lots of action, from a slow strip tease to a 4 way. And if you like dry humor, the hostess makes the entire movie worth it. Plus, you get to see lots of hot girl on girl action, which is always a plus, and you can’t fault the hostess for getting in on some of the action as well. All in all, a movie to watch more for the humor and amusement than the “getting-off factor,” but a good time and a recommendation none the less.
-Essin’ Em

Sex Toy Review; Blowfish Love Balls!

I have to say that at first glance, I didn't think I could handle the Blowfish Love Balls. They violated two of my main principles regarding sex toys; the Blowfish were both pink, and had faces, which are generally big no-nos in my book. However, like the brave little sexpert that I am, I decided not to just a book by its cover (or a sex toy by it's colored faces). While this wasn't a toy I'd use to bring myself to orgasm, it certainly provided a variety of different sensations, and its cuteness (pink faces and all) definately grew on me. The weighted feeling I had from having them inside me is definately worth a try. Definately not a vibrator, these balls as funky and fun, and would make a great gift.

Check out my whole "Blowfish Love Balls" review, and buy a pair for yourself, by clicking here!

Movie Review: Nina Hartley's Private Sessions Thirteen

Nina Hartley’s Private Sessions Thirteen

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Studio: Bizzare Video Category: Fetish

I love Nina Hartley, I love bondage, and I love some slight pain here and there. This movie provides all of these in one film. “Nina Hartley’s Private Sessions 13″ is an incredibly hot video that starts Nina dominating and lightly torturing a young lady…with a cane, a pussy pump, and even a violet want. But when she finally lets her come, you can just see how hard she orgasms, because she’s been so turned on. In the next scene, the domme ties her girl to the table, to be whipped, flogged, and of course to be eaten out and fucked. This movie was so arousing, it had all the elements that a good, yet light, BDSM film should have. The single tail scene was a little intense, but again, we’re not talking heavy anything here - in fact, she comes JUST from being lashed with the single tail…how hot is that? My favorite scene is that last one, where a redhead with glasses (who is super cute!) is dominated and fucked by both Nina and Amber Lynn until she comes over and over. This film is a bunch of people having a good time, enjoying a little bondage and a little pain, and getting off in all sorts of ways.
-Essin’ Em

Movie Review: Pixie Licks

Pixie Licks

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Studio: Sweetmeats Productions Category: Lesbian

You’ll have to forgive me for going on this lesbian movie kick - it must be the aftershocks of the Dinah, but really, I wanted to check out some girl on girl action that was real, sexy and could actually turn me on. I’ve struck gold again with “Pixie Licks.” In addition to Pixie being absolutely adorable (and having a British accent!!!), she happens likes girls. A lot. And shows it. The first scene is so hot and so real, and my favorite part? There was a little banter here and there, a little laughter…basically, all the bits I like best about good sex. Then came more sex, with moaning, gasping and a chorus of “don’t stop!” I also really enjoyed the communication between the two of them; when Pixie wanted something faster, she asked for it. Well, if you ask me, that’s exactly how good sex should be. Later on, I like the scene where they are fucking in the garage; it makes me wish I wasn’t living in an apartment, since I would now love to have garage sex. This film has true orgasms, sexy ladies, and creative scenes. Definitely a recommendation!
-Essin’ Em

Sex tips; Traveling with Toys!

Traveling with Toys?

Alright, now for some people, these tips may have no redeeming value (although hopefully, it will still have enough humor to amuse!), and for others, well, maybe you’ve been in the same bout as your lovely author, and will take these…tips…to heart. - Essin’ Em

Sex toys. Lots of people have them, lots of people love them. And lots of people just don’t know what to do when going on a trip; how to take these terrific toys along, particularly on airlines.

 

First, I will share with you an awkward moment I recently had, flying back home after my knee surgery. For my birthday/holiday present, one of my friends had gotten me a novelty vibrator (wonderful friends I have, I know!)…this particular toy looks like a rubber ducky, and it is no ordinary rubber ducky vibrator - it is a BONDAGE rubber ducky vibrator at that; handcuffs, ball gag and all. While packing for my trip home, I had to decide whether to pack it in my carry on or pack it in my checked baggage. I figured that putting it in my checked baggage would cause far less drama for myself, even if it was ‘discovered,’ where as packing it in my carry on could make for a very embarrassing moment should I be chosen for a random drug screening. 

However, I also thought back to some trips I’ve taken during which some of my belongings were miraculously lost during the screening process. I began to picture what might happen should a overly-zealous or super un-sex friendly security agent be the one to search my bag. I might make it home with my pride intact, but without my rubber ducky (who was still in his plastic packaging and all). Finally, I made the decision to pack it in carry on, figuring a little possibility of embarrassment was no high price to pay for the known safety of my toy. Luckily, I made it through security with no hassles, and both Ducky and I made it home safely. 

But this got me thinking; how does one travel with sex toys? I’ve heard stories of vibrators and dildos looking like gun barrels on x-ray machines, and of hand held, battery operated devices turning on at the most inconvenient time. So I’ve decided to look into the matter, and compile a list of things to think about when traveling with toys. 

Some toys CANNOT be packed in your carry on; these are ones that may be misconstrued as a weapon or hazard. Examples include pinwheels (used in sensory play), things involving fire (although the candles themselves are ok), anything related to edge play (razors and so on), and of course, large objects that just won’t fit, like long handled floggers and crops. For these things, please pack them in your checked baggage to avoid an awkward situation at the security check point. 

Things with batteries: de-batterize them. Take out the batteries, and put them, and your extra batteries, in something like a sealable baggie or in a pocket of something you’re already bringing along. Lots of people take extra batteries for CD players, cameras, etc, so a bag full of batteries won’t cause anyone to immediately think “sex toy!” Also, by taking your batteries out in advance, you’re saving yourself from two things: a) the toy turning on and making some noise that will then make you have to explain to a security agent exactly why your angry anaconda or frisky ferret was in your bag, and b) arriving at your destination to realize at the most inopportune time that your toy has burnt out your batteries and that the store in the hotel lobby is closed. 

Things that might look like a gun barrel (dildos and phallus shaped vibrators with any type of metal in them, including metal rods and center columns to which beads are attached) should probably be pack in your checked luggage, because security will ask you to open your carry on to make sure it isn’t a security risk. I’ve been asked to take out a curling iron before, and I’m sure that was far less embarrassing than a phallus like object (unless that’s your thing…and then go for it!). 

As far as keeping things clean, I like to pack my sex toys in their own bag, just so that in transit, they don’t get covered with dust particles, lint from my clothing, make up or lotion from a bottle that broke or finger prints from the person examining my luggage. If you keep them in a clear bag, where security personnel can see them clearly to determine how harmless they are, you should be fine! 

Lastly, if you’re as in love with some of your toys as I am, I would suggest not taking your absolute favorite toys with you, or getting a duplicate copy for your travels. I lost one amazing bullet vibe somewhere in either Prague, Vienna or Hamburg, and I never recovered it (nor did I ever learn to say vibrator in Czech). When I travel now, I make sure I take my back-up Magic Wand, and keep my main one safely stored at home, in case of any toy-losing calamities. 

I wish you the best of luck in your travels, and hopefully these tips make it at least a little easier for those of you traveling with toys. And to those of you to whom this doesn’t apply, I hope you got at least a little amusement out of my awkward situations. 

Enjoy flying the friendly skies,

Essin’ Em

Tantalized by toys? Check out Best of Toys And Masturbation:

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Movie Review: Girls Get Busy!

Girls Get Busy

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Studio: AbbyWinters.com Category: Lesbian

I’ve found some at last; the “real lesbian” movies that appear to be so elusive on some sites. That’s right; “Girls Get Busy” has real women, that like women, having real sex, and fantastic (and real!) orgasms. This is not a movie that is meant to fulfill male fantasy; it is meant to show beautiful sex between two women. There are no plastic heels, no silicone, and there is, in fact, some pubic hair. It’s beautiful - I can’t imagine why I haven’t discovered this before. I will say that I like my sex a little more fast and hard; up against the wall, ripping clothes off, etc, but the slow passionate kissing in here got me going as well. And the pussy eating? THANK GOD. Finally, real, in your face (literally) pussy eating where the girl is gasping for air because it feels THAT good. And no fingers jackhammering in and out; one probing finger slowly becomes two, and that’s when she starts moaning and pushing into her. Hands held, bodies intertwined, these women bring each other to beautiful, sexy orgasms. Then there is more kissing; this movie helps reinvent the idea of lesbian porn, and I highly suggest it to anyone, particularly queer women who get off on seeing women get off.
-Essin’ Em

Movie Review: Strap It On

Strap It On

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Studio: Platinum X Pictures Category: Lesbian Strap Ons

Wanting to see a film with hot lesbians and lots of strap-ons, I came across (and again later on!) “Strap-it-On” - a film with a series of vignettes with sexy ladies giving it to each other. I was first attracted to this film because the dildos they use are fun colors (clear, purple, black, etc) instead of just the “pink flesh” colored, “realistic looking” fake penises that are used in so many films (and are just completely unattractive to me, personally). I also really liked that each couple took turns doing each other; one would fuck the other till orgasm (or two or three) and then they’d switch places, and the original “fucker” would get to be fucked. I like balance like that. You can tell these girls are enjoying themselves, although I could have gone for a little less of the traditional “porn star dialogue” (and fewer pink outfits!). However, overall, this film was what I was looking for; lots of hot strap on action, lovely ladies having a good time getting fucked, and I definitely got what I came for.
-Essin’ Em

How To Perform Cunninglingus (Oral Sex On Her)

How To Perform Cunninglingus (Oral Sex On Her)

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Studio: OSK Productions Category: Instructional

Another great “how to give oral sex on a female” movie. And since we’re a site for women, I think this is a very important thing for you and/or your partners to watch. This series is great, because it has female stars giving you tips on eating pussy; the women know what it’s like to have their pussy eaten, and they give you some awesome tips. In this part of the series, Caren Caan hosts, and gives all sorts of interesting tidbits of advice, all the while performing cunnilingus to show you each and every technique that she discusses, while she does it. I really like how much she emphasizes communication with your partner; you don’t know what they like or what feels good unless you ask them, right? Well, she asks away, and the end result is clear; she knows what she’s talking about in regards to going down on a woman. The two ladies in this film clearly are having fun; lots of laughter and smiling, and of course, a wonderful orgasm at the end. Great for everyone, whether you’re single or coupled; watch and try it along with the video, or file these tips away for later.
-Essin’ Em

Sex Tips; Role Playing, Part 2

It has occurred to me, and the rest of the office, that some of these are more outfit based, and not so much role-playing. You can do it either way; whatever works for you. And if you have some kind of role playing fantasy that isn’t on here (suggestions from the co-workers; hitchhikers, star trek, naughty nuns, mail carriers, sales clerks, etc). have at it; figure out what turns you and your partner on, because as we all know, that’s really all that matters. Here is the continuation from my last list of the top 10 role playing fantasies.
-Essin’ Em

5. Genie

 

Magic and mysticism always can be fun, and what is more enticing than getting three wishes? Find some silk, satin or chiffon scarves, and some loose pants or see-through teddies, beautifully colored vibrant make up, burn a little incense, and *poof!*, it’s time to come out of the bottle. Agree on some limits before hand, and once those are in place, go ahead and make your wishes, and watch your dreams come true. 

4. Prostitute/Escort 

To some people, this is a huge turn off, but for others, the idea of sashaying up to a working girl (or guy) and paying for what you want (and getting in, getting off, and getting out) has some major fantasy appeal, particularly when you’re not in danger of getting any STIs or spending the night in a real jail cell. Again, agree upon some limits before hand so no one gets uncomfortable, and then head out to a street corner, or put in a call to your loved one’s cell phone to arrange for a…happy ending. Outfits for the ladies could include high boots, sexy stockings, matching lingerie, short skirts, etc. For the guys; tight pants, mesh or tight shirts, etc. 

3. Strangers 

Strangers in the night…exchanging glances. This idea of picking someone up at a bar, and going home with them right then and there is very popular, but in today’s age of diseases, stalkers, etc, it usually isn’t the best of ideas. However, pretending that your partner is a stranger, and picking them up can be lots of fun, and can make it easier to try new things. Decide on a venue first; do you want to go classy with a cocktail lounge, or are you two more of a dive bar type of couple? Dress in one of your favorite outfits that makes you feel confident and sexy, and figure which one of you is going to be doing the picking up and which one will be the one being picked up. With this set up, go out, have a drink, and wait for that sexy stranger to buy to a drink. 

2. Secretary/Librarian 

It could be the glasses, or the button down shirt, or the hair pulled back tightly in a bun. Or maybe it’s the idea that an office assistant or library lady is so reserved in their daily job and activities that there is a wild woman inside who is just dying to get out. Start with a pencil skirt or well fitting pair of pants, add the button down shirt, sweep your hair up and back, and then finish the look with a pair of “sex-retary” glasses. When the time comes, look over the tops of the frames at your lover with a sultry glance before pulling your hair out of it’s knot and shaking it loose. If they get too loud, don’t forget to shhhhh them before moving on. 

1. School Girl 

I can’t think of any one fantasy that is more popular than that of the innocent-turned-naughty schoolgirl (or teacher for that matter), and this is one of the easiest role-plays to try out. With a plaid skirt (short or long…doesn’t matter, as it will be coming off), a white button down, and some pigtails, anyone can be transported in to the realm of bubble gum, boyfriend drama and a ruler knocking you on the knuckles. You could play it from the naughty angle, and have the bad schoolgirl in detention, or go for more of a sex-ed or corruption tactic. To complete the outfit, maybe have some white stockings, Mary Janes, and/or a pair of cute glasses. 

Enjoy your foray into fantasy

Essin’ Em

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Back from the DINAH!

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