Sex tips; Traveling with Toys!

Traveling with Toys?

Alright, now for some people, these tips may have no redeeming value (although hopefully, it will still have enough humor to amuse!), and for others, well, maybe you’ve been in the same bout as your lovely author, and will take these…tips…to heart. - Essin’ Em

Sex toys. Lots of people have them, lots of people love them. And lots of people just don’t know what to do when going on a trip; how to take these terrific toys along, particularly on airlines.

 

First, I will share with you an awkward moment I recently had, flying back home after my knee surgery. For my birthday/holiday present, one of my friends had gotten me a novelty vibrator (wonderful friends I have, I know!)…this particular toy looks like a rubber ducky, and it is no ordinary rubber ducky vibrator - it is a BONDAGE rubber ducky vibrator at that; handcuffs, ball gag and all. While packing for my trip home, I had to decide whether to pack it in my carry on or pack it in my checked baggage. I figured that putting it in my checked baggage would cause far less drama for myself, even if it was ‘discovered,’ where as packing it in my carry on could make for a very embarrassing moment should I be chosen for a random drug screening. 

However, I also thought back to some trips I’ve taken during which some of my belongings were miraculously lost during the screening process. I began to picture what might happen should a overly-zealous or super un-sex friendly security agent be the one to search my bag. I might make it home with my pride intact, but without my rubber ducky (who was still in his plastic packaging and all). Finally, I made the decision to pack it in carry on, figuring a little possibility of embarrassment was no high price to pay for the known safety of my toy. Luckily, I made it through security with no hassles, and both Ducky and I made it home safely. 

But this got me thinking; how does one travel with sex toys? I’ve heard stories of vibrators and dildos looking like gun barrels on x-ray machines, and of hand held, battery operated devices turning on at the most inconvenient time. So I’ve decided to look into the matter, and compile a list of things to think about when traveling with toys. 

Some toys CANNOT be packed in your carry on; these are ones that may be misconstrued as a weapon or hazard. Examples include pinwheels (used in sensory play), things involving fire (although the candles themselves are ok), anything related to edge play (razors and so on), and of course, large objects that just won’t fit, like long handled floggers and crops. For these things, please pack them in your checked baggage to avoid an awkward situation at the security check point. 

Things with batteries: de-batterize them. Take out the batteries, and put them, and your extra batteries, in something like a sealable baggie or in a pocket of something you’re already bringing along. Lots of people take extra batteries for CD players, cameras, etc, so a bag full of batteries won’t cause anyone to immediately think “sex toy!” Also, by taking your batteries out in advance, you’re saving yourself from two things: a) the toy turning on and making some noise that will then make you have to explain to a security agent exactly why your angry anaconda or frisky ferret was in your bag, and b) arriving at your destination to realize at the most inopportune time that your toy has burnt out your batteries and that the store in the hotel lobby is closed. 

Things that might look like a gun barrel (dildos and phallus shaped vibrators with any type of metal in them, including metal rods and center columns to which beads are attached) should probably be pack in your checked luggage, because security will ask you to open your carry on to make sure it isn’t a security risk. I’ve been asked to take out a curling iron before, and I’m sure that was far less embarrassing than a phallus like object (unless that’s your thing…and then go for it!). 

As far as keeping things clean, I like to pack my sex toys in their own bag, just so that in transit, they don’t get covered with dust particles, lint from my clothing, make up or lotion from a bottle that broke or finger prints from the person examining my luggage. If you keep them in a clear bag, where security personnel can see them clearly to determine how harmless they are, you should be fine! 

Lastly, if you’re as in love with some of your toys as I am, I would suggest not taking your absolute favorite toys with you, or getting a duplicate copy for your travels. I lost one amazing bullet vibe somewhere in either Prague, Vienna or Hamburg, and I never recovered it (nor did I ever learn to say vibrator in Czech). When I travel now, I make sure I take my back-up Magic Wand, and keep my main one safely stored at home, in case of any toy-losing calamities. 

I wish you the best of luck in your travels, and hopefully these tips make it at least a little easier for those of you traveling with toys. And to those of you to whom this doesn’t apply, I hope you got at least a little amusement out of my awkward situations. 

Enjoy flying the friendly skies,

Essin’ Em

Tantalized by toys? Check out Best of Toys And Masturbation:

Email Essin' Em your questions!