I’m dating a new guy, and we’re getting to the point where I’m ready to go down on him…I just don’t know whether I should “spit or swallow”. Can you give me some advice?
– Questioning in Quebec
This question, the question of “spit or swallow” is as old as the day is long, and is one of the most frequently asked of sex columnists all over the world. It may have taken me a while, but I have finally decided to tackle it in the most informative way that I can.
Firstly, there are actually three choices; spit, swallow, or don’t have him come in your mouth. No, really, I’m serious, that is a totally valid choice, particularly if the reason someone spits is because of the taste. If it’s in your mouth long enough to spit it out, you’re still going to have the taste, but if it isn’t ever in your mouth in the first place, that’s one less thing to worry about, right?
Now, let’s say you decide that you do in fact want to receive ejaculate in your mouth (and you deciding is the key part; don’t let anyone ever tell you that EVERYONE does it that way, or that you HAVE to do it; totally untrue). This is when those good ol’ stand by options come into play; spit or swallow.
All is going well, and now he’s beginning to get there; the point of no return. You have a decision to make; split, spit or swallow. You’ve decided not to split - you’re going to stick it out, but how do you decide whether to imbibe?
It’s a personal choice that you get to make all by yourself. Some women enjoying swallowing for a variety of reasons. Maybe it’s for easier clean up (no tissue or towels needed), maybe it’s the taste (it is preferred by some), maybe it’s a variety of other reasons. On the other hand, some women are proud to be “spitters”; they enjoy the act of giving oral sex, but at the end, they chose not to swallow their partners’ semen. Why? For some it’s just the idea, for others it’s the taste; again, it’s a very personal thing to decide, and no one can just give you the right answer.
Couple of important notes (and I asked the guys in the office to double check): swallowing is not necessary. At all. One guy said he even preferred that she didn’t swallow. As one guy put it “I don’t care, as long as I get to release my semen. I don’t really care what happens to it after that.” Not swallowing is not going to ruin the sexual experience for the guy, it’s not going to be the worst blow job he’s ever had because you didn’t swallow. You do or you don’t, but as long as you’re both having fun, that’s the part that matters. If you do choose the spitting option, it is more polite (and probably a little more appreciated by the guy) if you don’t spit it across the room, or right in front of him. Some discreet tissue action, or a quick trip to the bathroom can go a long way.
Ejaculate (made up of both sperm and seminal fluid) contains about 6 calories per tablespoon. It’s fat free (in case anyone was wondering), and contains trace amounts of calcium, zinc, B12, magnesium, nitrogen, chloride, and other substances (but unfortunately, not enough replace your multi-vitamin if you do swallow). It does not clearly up acne (hmm, wonder who started that rumor), and it cannot make you pregnant if you swallow it (although oral sex does put you at risk for STIs; check out our safer sex guide to read up on protecting yourself).
All in all, this is a decision for you to make; split, spit or swallow. You can certainly talk to your partner about what he may prefer, but remember, it’s up to you. No pressure. If you chose to swallow, you’re not going to get fat, but sadly, you’re not going to get perfect skin either.
Open wide (or not!),
Essin’ Em
Some things just taste *that* good;Sweet Taste of Honey:
Email Essin' Em your questions!
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