Sex tips; Does Size Matter?

Does size really matter?
-R.N. via email

This is a question I get asked a lot. Now, I’m going to have to assume that the askers are referring to penises, because in many things in life, size DOES matter. I’m short, and can’t reach the top shelves in my kitchen; size matters. When I want to buy something, and only have a five-dollar bill, then yes, size matters. Trying to fit 6 people into a VW bug; size matters.

 

But all in all, for the most part, size doesn’t matter. Speaking specifically on the penis, the average penis is about 5-7 inches when erect. Some guys have much smaller penises that swell a lot more to reach that size, while others start out bigger, and don’t travel as far…people tend to call these grow-ers vs. show-ers. 

As far as the other end of the spectrum, a woman’s vagina can be from 3 inches to 7 inches in depth (from the opening to the cervix). Depending on the angle of penetration of the penis or sex toy, one can also add about an inch or so if the penis/sex toy goes directly under the cervix. Time to do some math…average penis = 5-7 inches, average vaginal canal = 3-7 inches. Seems like “average” is pretty well coordinated in this biological situation. 

Now, the vaginal walls CAN expand in width (and slightly in length - when aroused, the cervix will tilt up slightly, elongating the vagina a little); not infinitely, but more like a balloon. As a woman becomes turned on, her vaginal walls get a little puffy, and being to expand, and the inner part of her vagina almost balloons up. Some women prefer to feel more filled; what they’re looking for here is not usually a longer penis; rather, they want a thicker penis to fill the vaginal walls. Most penises (and sex toys) fill the vagina quite nicely. 

Some people might have trouble with size; if you have a shorter vagina (let’s say 3 inches), and your partner has a larger than average penis (how about 9 inches), clearly, there is not going to be any thrusting all the way in; there isn’t enough room for all that penis. Never fear; the majority of the sensory receivers and nerves are in the TOP third of the penis (remember this for oral sex as well; deep throating might be fun, or feel naughty, etc, but the more you focus on the third of the penis towards the head, the more sensation you’re giving). So, 3 inch vagina plus the top 1/3 of the penis (which just happens to be 3 inches!) = good times for all. 

Some positions can be used to make size matters more manageable. If your partner has a shorter penis (compared to your vagina), trying rear entry (ie, doggy style) can add an inch or two, as can man on top, with the woman’s legs criss-crossed and pushed against her chest. Have the same problem as above? For a shorter vagina, try side by side entry (either facing each other or spooning), or woman on top, to control exactly how much of that penis is going in there. 

Granted, some guys do have smaller than average penises (they would have to; it IS called average for a reason). However, this shouldn’t be something to make or break a relationship. Firstly, a smaller penis does NOT mean he can’t have sex, or can’t sexually satisfy you. If you tend to get off from intercourse, try some of the positions above to feel more filled. If you’re more of an oral sex or fingering person, than I can’t exactly see what there is to worry about; in fact, rumor has it (no scientific basis what so ever) that guys who may be less endowed in the “nether” regions tend to be WAY more endowed in the “satisfying their partner through other types of sex” area. If you feel that even with all these hints and tips, you’re still not happy with your sex life, talk to your partner about maybe bringing a vibrator or dildo into sex play, foreplay, etc. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t have intercourse if that’s what you both like, but it can add the extra something you might need to climax. 

If you call yourself a size queen, and just can’t be with a person who has a smaller penis, you might want to take a second to think about why a large penis is the most important thing when looking for relationship. If you’re just rocking your world by hooking up with guys with larger dicks, than all power to you. But if you’re breaking up good relationships solely because of phallus size, it makes me wonder; what makes a great penis so much better than a great person (especially if that great person is also great under covers, just in different ways than your average stud)? 

For ladies at the other end of the spectrum that might be intimidated by large penises (for a variety of reasons; smaller vagina (yours truly), first time, previously painful experiences, the sheer size of penises in general, etc) - I am with you. However, the same as above can be said to us; why would you give up a good person if their penis just happened to be the size of the Eiffel Tower? There are many many many things to do behind (or in front of) closed doors, and with a patient partner, even the smallest vagina and the biggest penis can figure out how to tango without pain to either party. 

Sizing up the situation,

Essin’ Em

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