This week’s column is on something very near and dear to my heart, but that I don’t think gets enough lip service in today’s culture; Kissing.
-Essin’ Em
Some people say kissing is over rated, others see lip love as solely a means to an end, a foreplay that “has” to be done, in order to get onto more important things, like S-E-X. But seriously? Kissing needs to revered in its’ own right. Kissing is one of the most arousing, intimate and sexual things you can do. I can make out for hours on end, and while often, yes, it can lead to something more, it’s also quite enjoyable to just have a hot and heavy make out session with someone whose company you happen to enjoy.
As far as mutual kissing, everyone kisses, and likes to be kissed, differently. Some like it softer, others are into rougher and harder kisses. Saliva is a big deal for some, and in other cases, it’s a huge turn off. In my experience, I’ve found that people kiss the way that they’d like to be kissed; if someone lips a little biting, or a nip on their lip, that’s how they’ll kiss their partner, because they want to get that back.
There are some kissers that are less popular than others; the first person I kissed, way back in high school, had the unfortunate condition that I fondly refer to as “vacuum lips.” When we kissed, I felt like my lips were being sucked deep into a vortex (also known as my partner’s throat). While this type of kissing may be the cat’s meow for some, for me, it just wasn’t my ideal….yet I suffered in silence until we broke up. Why? Because I thought that it was just a foreplay thing; it shouldn’t really matter if I enjoyed it or not.
Well, that was a dumb plan. Because has I talked to my partner about what I had liked, or even shown what I wanted by guiding their lips to *not* devour mine, I could have had far more enjoyable times making out, instead of dreading the lips of doom. But by not speaking up, and not giving kissing its proper level of importance, I was totally missing out on what turned out to be one of my favorite things to do.
Now, kissing does have to involve lips, but it doesn’t have to be lip-to-lip always. Your lips will feel amazing pretty much anywhere on your partner’s body (and vice versa of course. If you’re in more of a sensual mood, light kisses all over the neck, ears, collar bone, and down the stomach, just barely brushing your lips over their skin. More heated and passionate? Use you lips to nip here and there, to shower breasts and nipples with love, a little bite on a hipbone, a rougher, passionate kiss on the neck. Taste your partner and let them taste you.
The feeling of someone’s lips covering every area of your body sets your nerve endings absolutely on edge. You might get goose bumps, even if it’s not cold. You might be inspired to do the same to your partner. After some hot (or cold…don’t be afraid to change the temperature of your mouth with ice cubes, hot tea, etc…or even make it tingly with mints, or crème de menthe!) kisses, the two of you might end it there, or you might decide to go on to some other types of sexual activity. Either way, you’ll feel amazing…I guarantee it.
So what’s the hold up? We should slow down on the yapping, and give kissing the lip service it deserves. Really.
Smooches!
Essin’ Em
See how kissing should really be done; Kissme Girl - Brea and Loli:
Email Essin' Em your questions!
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