Sex Toy Review: The Straight Girl's Guide to Sleeping with Chicks

The Straight Girl’s Guide to Sleeping with Chicks

While I wasn’t sure what I, a queer woman, was going to do with a guide for straight girls, I resigned myself to reading it - the things we do for the good of humankind, it’s horrible, I know. Luckily for me, the book was quite well written, and actually provided some good information (particularly on safer sex for women who sleep with women, something many queer and lesbian sex books often leave in the dark). She explains her useage of the word straight, which I appreciated, and gives a plethora of tips in many areas related to sex with women. Yes, I had some issues with a few things, like her usage of the word “tits” and her emphasis on imbibing a little before getting it on, but over all, this book had some excellent points, and would be a good addition to the library of most people, queer, straight, or straight who are sexually queer. I go into far more details if you click below, promise!

-Essin’ Em

Read the rest of my review and get it on with the ladies

Room service at a whole new level

Imagine that you're traveling, and staying in a swanky hotel. You flip on the TV and buy a pair per view movie. You open the mini bar, and purchase some liquor to keep yourself entertained. You call down and order up some room service to quench your hunger. Add a long soak in the tub, a terry robe, and a comfy bed. All your needs are taken care of, except for one. Now the decison is which sex toy do you want delivered?

Call it the most genius marriage of sexy service and style to date…

Recently the uberhip Bryant Park Hotel in New York City hooked up with (excuse the pun) The Pleasure Chest to begin offering its Objects of Pleasure Menu. Basically, it’s a menu that lives in the room mini-bar that has an accompanying channel on BPH television. After you look over the gorgeous photos (see the spread below), you can simply call down to the office and order your selection.

It’s like room service for sex toys!

Each toy is prepackaged and brought discreetly up to your room by one of the hotel’s specially trained (and, hello, very attractive) employees. It can also be purchased and mailed discreetly back to your home base, all without ever leaving your room.

The toys offered for purchase are some of the most upscale and designer gadgets on the market, so you’re sure to get your money’s worth. I foresee this being a huge hit amongst the A-listers that frequent the hotel during various Fashion Weeks.

Besides, what would New York City be if we weren’t at the forefront of scandalous and daring?

Evidently, I've always stayed at the wrong hotels.

Essin' Em

Order some sex toy room service and read on

You and Me...and who makes 3?

I want to have a threesome. Should it be two guys and a gal, or two gals and a guy, or 3 of a kind? How will we know who does what? Can I get some help here?

-Multiple partnered in Minneapolis

Seems like you're looking to add another dimension to your relationship and you're thinking ahead. Way to go!

How one goes about having a threesome depends on a lot of things, and of course is a very individual choice to make. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: don't let anyone pressure you into doing anything you don't want to do. Ever.

Before you begin, make sure you're really ok with the idea of threesome. While they can definitely be a fun time, they are not for everyone. Some people do not like the idea of their partner being sexual with anyone else, even if they're there at the time. Others think the idea sounds great, until their partner makes a different noise, or tries something new with the third person. This can create jealousy and strife between couples and/or friends. Once you've decided this is the right thing for you, and you're ready to have a ménage a trios, here are some things to consider before you hop into bed:

First, are you single or with a partner? If you're single, it can be easier because you don't need to talk to your partner about how they feel about this whole thing. When you're ready to have a threesome as a single person, you can look at finding two other single people or finding a couple. Make sure that if you decide to get it on with a couple, they are both ok with it, and they have followed the steps I talk about later that are for couples. Currently, it's very "in" for couples to find a third person (usually a woman), and since it's trendy, you should have no problem with finding a couple.

How do you find this multitude of couples looking for a third? Many couples use online sites with personals sections to look for a third, and you can browse their ads, or post one of your own. I personally find it easier to browse ads and choose who I contact because the one time I posted an ad of my own (albeit not about a threesome), my inbox was flooded with all types of people in whom I had not interest (and some who were downright creepy). You can also look at sex/swingers clubs, although those have door fees unlike the Internet. You can also go online (or to the clubs) to find two single people to hook up with at the same time.

If you're already in a relationship, it's very important to make sure that both of you are interested in this. It does not count if either of you is blackmailing the other. Saying "if you really loved me, you'd let us have a threesome" does not count as consent. It's unethical. Don't be a bad partner. You may really, really, really, want to try it , but your partner may feel equally as strong about not adding a third person to the sexual mix. Please remember to respect each other.

Let's say you've talked to your partner, and you're both into this idea (it's ok if you're nervous, as long as you both want to try it out). Firstly, you need to decide what gender you'd like the third to be. If you're two lesbians, you may think it's "obvious" that you'd look for a third woman, but maybe your partner was thinking about this being a good opportunity to give a guy a try, while still being with her queer partner. Again, talk. Communication is key! There is a stereotype that all straight males only want threesomes with two women, but having taken a quick poll around the office and among friends, this is not the case. One told me he'd be less stressed with two guys, because he wouldn't feel pressured to be the perfect loved to two women at once. I personally don't think I could handle two penises at once, but I would totally be into being topped by two guys…or just lying back and having two guys worship me.

That's where the next part comes in. Once you decide who you're looking for, you need to decide what the two of you would like to do. Maybe you want to have intercourse together, and then have one of you perform oral sex on the third, or maybe just have a night full of oral sex! Or maybe the idea of your partner fucking someone else while your masturbate is exactly what turns you on. Is it ok if you kiss the third person? Is it ok if your partner does so? Maybe kissing and fucking is ok, but oral sex is reserved only for the two of you in a long-term relationship. These are all things that you two need to talk about before you even begin searching for a partner.

Once you start looking, you can use the same avenues I suggested above - online personals or sex clubs. You can also try to pick someone up while you're out an about, or you might want to join a polyamory group or attend play parties to find a third.

Another choice that singles or couples can make in their pursuit of a sexual trifecta is to bring in a friend (or a couple they're friendly with). This option certainly has its own pros and cons. By hooking up with someone you already know, you have a good idea of their personality, what they like, and you may have an easier time discussing what is ok and what is not ok with them. However, if something goes wrong with the threesome, you could at the very least have some future awkward moments, and at the worst, you might have ruined a good friendship. What would you do if your partner did something for him/her that they don't do with you? Is it possible that you might start feeling jealous of your friend, and take it out on them, either actively or passively? Would it be awkward if you saw your friend fucking, and then sat next to them at the office meeting the next day? These things need to be thought about before you make this choice.

Once you've found someone(s) to be the Larry to your Moe and Curly, have the same talk with them about what they're into and what they would/wouldn't like to do. As soon as everyone is on the same page, it's time to begin your adventure. It will not be perfect. Sex is rarely (if ever) perfect, even with two people. Add one more to the mix, and it just gets more hectic. People may feel ignored, someone may fall off the bed, or one of you may get squirted in the eye. Things happen. Just keep talking and checking in with each other and make sure everyone is doing ok. If everyone is having fun, that's all that matters.

As a last caveat, don't forget about using safer sex! Women who have sex with women need safer sex just as much as hetero couples…and that includes threesomes. Keep this in mind.

I hope I've given you some good steps to begin your hunt for your threesome. Best of luck!

Please come and join me,

Essin' Em

You're not the only one! Check out My First Threesome Vol. 3:

Bra! Ra! Ra!

Whether you love them or hate them, bras are one of the most popular inventions to ever hit the market, and they are used (and/or burned) by women all over the Western World on a dailiy basis. What would you do if you suddenly had to figure out a new bra size...in order to get a far better fitting, and much more comfortable bra?

Curvy women could soon find a bra revolution making life slightly more comfortable.

Until now, bra sizes have followed a formula devised in America in 1935

For 70 years bra designers have stuck to a formula which decides sizes through measuring under and across the bust.

But now researchers in Hong Kong have come up with a different mathematical equation which they say will produce shapelier outlines and greater comfort for Chinese women. If successful, their bra-sizing system could be adopted across the globe.

They say there are more than 100 key measurements necessary to produce the perfect fit, and bra sizes should be based on a new depth/width ratio - or DWR.

Writing in the International Journal of Industrial Ergonomics, the Hong Kong Polytechnic University team says that a "woman's breast is a very complex 3D geometry" and the existing sizing system may be "inappropriate in the categorisation of breast sizes for bras".

As a result, the report points out, as many as 70 per cent of women in Britain are wearing the wrong-sized bra.

To risque for PBS gives them an A+ in my book...as does anything that involves the amazing Betty Dodson.

Essin' Em

Are you one of the 70% of women wearing the wrong sized bra? Read on!

Movie Review: Yanks Girl Jor

Yanks Girl Jor

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Studio: Yanks.com Category: Solo Girls

This movie is really short, but everyone wants a quickie now and then, including the pretty and large breasted Jor. She’s cute and has an adorable sense of humor! I think my favorite line in the whole movie is, “I just wish I could lick my own,” channeling thoughts of women everywhere. She’s a real woman and it was pleasant to see a solo girl scene that didn’t feature fingernails reminiscent of talons. It begins with her teasing herself with her fingers, but she knows where the real action is at and turns to a shiny silver vibrator to help bring herself to climax. From her clenching toes to her pelvic thrusts, she has an incredibly hot time, and you can tell that it’s the real deal. No faking here! She’s fun to watch - a beautiful woman lying in bed, eyes closed, enjoying her journey into orgasmic ecstasy. And because it’s short, you can watch it anywhere at anytime!
-Essin’ Em

Hey Doc, better make me come, I'm hysterical!

Seems like people have finally decided to break the special code of secrecy surrounding vibrators. Check out this film that has recently been made.

Bay Area filmmakers Wendy Slick and Emiko Omori never imagined that it would take more than seven years to make a documentary about one electrical appliance. They were wrong.

Their subject was the history of vibrators.

"Passion & Power: The Technology of Orgasm" premieres at Lincoln Center in New York on Saturday and will be screened at the Mill Valley Film Festival in October. The cast of characters includes two feminist pioneers, a homemaker arrested for selling vibrators at Tupperware-like parties in Texas and Rachel Maines, a scholar who in 1977 stumbled upon turn-of-the-century ads for the device while researching needlework patterns.

"The vibrator was contemporaneous with the toaster and before the steam iron and vacuum cleaner," Maines said in a phone interview. "We had our priorities right."

Slick and Omori make it clear that these instruments of pleasure were more than a sexual tool -- they were political, social and subversive as well.

The filmmakers were particularly startled by the relationship between doctors and vibrators. Maines wrote that gynecological massage had been a standard medical treatment for "hysteria" -- viewed as the womb's response to sexual deprivation -- since antiquity. In the 1860s, an American physician created the Manipulator, a steam-powered device. Two decades later, Dr. Mortimer Granville of Britain invented the electromechanical vibrator, though he intended it solely for male skeletal muscles and warned that it would be morally indefensible to use it on women. Some of his colleagues thought otherwise. It could take more than an hour of manual labor to induce the "hysterical paroxysm," as it was called. With the aid of the vibrator, this could more profitably be achieved in less than 10 minutes.

"When you think of people producing orgasm for payment, the word that leaps to mind is not doctors," Maines said during the phone interview.

The filmmakers said it was inspiring to get to know Dodson and Williams, who opened Eve's Garden, a store in Manhattan for women's sex toys, in the early 1970s. At the same time, Slick said, it was reassuring to learn that these icons had plenty of insecurities -- such as when Dodson confesses in the film that she used to think she was deformed because she had "elongated inner lips."

The documentary includes other women who haven't played by the rules, as Slick put it. Performance artist Reno reveals how she discovered at a young age the pleasures that bathtub fixtures could provide. Texas housewife Joanne Webb recounts her arrest in 2004 for selling vibrators -- in her state, a felony offense. Lawyer BeAnn Sisemore talks about defending Webb, whose life fell apart as a result of the case.

The documentary itself, much like early vibrator ads, is tasteful yet provocative.

"We're too risque for PBS but not enough for HBO," Omori said.

To risque for PBS gives them an A+ in my book...as does anything that involves the amazing Betty Dodson.

Essin' Em

Check out the rest of this really interesting article about this film

Movie Review: A Dirty Western

• A Dirty Western

  

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  Studio: VCX Category: Features

  Allow me to take back to the wild wild west, where women have bush, cocks are not the size of the Eiffel tower, and money shots are only a faint glint on the horizon of the future. Picture Little House on the Prairie meets O Brother Where Art Thou, just with a whole lot of sex thrown in. I loved the stripped prison outfits (or maybe just the idea of naughtiness they embodied - who would want to fuck an outlaw?) as well as the main character’s eye patch, but that could just be me. As a bit of a warning, there is a scene with some fairly rough “I’m a prisoner and haven’t seen a woman in 7 years so I’m going to fuck you” type of sex, which may not be for everyone. However, never fear, as this is a real Western, and the women are rescued from the evil prisoners by the cowboy men folk, turning this film into a romance novel come to life. This movie is a little rough around the edges, just the way life was back then, and would be a great choice for couples or historical fans.
  -Essin’ Em

Sex Toy Review: Water Proof Beaver

The toy I got to review this week was none other than the Waterproof Beaver , a busy little creature looking to make me happy. As we are all well aware, I am not a huge fan of animal toys, so I wasn't sure how I'd feel about this toy…but at least it wasn't pink (the picture makes it look pink, but really, it's much more of a purple). If I'm going to get a dual clit/penetration vibe, I usually look for those outside of the animal kingdom, like the Japanese G-Spot Squirmy.

At the very least, the batteries were easy to install, and given the fact it only takes two AA batteries, it certainly seemed to have a lot of juice. The feeling of the toy was soft and jelly like. Although it claimed to be silicone, I'm not quite sure what type of silicone was, since it emitted a jelly like smell (good quality silicone does not smell whatsoever), and did not feel like the silicone I'm used to on toys.

It's waterproof, which is really cool, because most waterproof toys are either clitoral only like the Water Dancer , or penetration only, like the Krystal Vibe. It's great to find a 2-in-1 toy that you can bring to bath, shower, or hot tub playtime with you. I found that the sizing of the toy was pretty good, although I had to hold the beaver itself (the clitoral part) on to get the kind of stimulation I wanted. It has a twist bottom instead of buttons, and the shaft does not rotate.

My biggest concern with this toy was that the silicone/jelly/whatever it was started pulling up from the bottom of the toy after just one session. I mean, I know I'm hard with my toys, but I've had most for at least a couple of months, if not years, and I can't understand how the metal was starting to get exposed after 20 minutes. Maybe it was just me, but it's something to think about.

For the price, I can see this being a good starter toy for someone new to the scene of dual stimulation vibrators, or for someone on a budget. However, there are other toys I feel would work just as well, if not better, for a similar price, such as the Pearl Butterfly which has pearls that rotate in the shaft, and two sets of controls.

Want to get busy as a Waterproof Beaver? Or browse a variety of other toys? Click here!

Movie Review: Nina Hartley's Guide to Younger Women Older Men

Nina Hartley’s Guide to Younger Women Older Men

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Studio: Adam and Ever Category: Instructional

I’ve never seen Nina Hartley in a bad film, and this one is certainly no exception. I love her guides because she is down to earth, feminist AND sex-positive, and looks fabulous while fucking. As in all her guides, she starts off talking to you, the audience, about all the pros and cons of the subject at hand; in this one, the topic is sex between younger women and older men. She’s careful to point out that while it can be tons of sexually charged fun, there are also some drawbacks you should make sure to consider. After going through the basics, she invites Sophie back for a hot threesome with an “older couple,” namely Nina and her partner Jay. They suck and fuck and have just an all around wonderful time, kind of making me wish I could find an older man full of experience to please my every sexual need and desire. Nina does not fail to please in this film, and I highly recommend it for any couple looking at a large age gap…or any one who likes to see an experienced man make a younger woman writhe in ecstasy.
-Essin’ Em

Condoms as Fashion

"No glove, no love" takes on a whole new meaning at this Chinese fashion show in which all the garments (including a huge wedding dress) are created out of condoms.

Models parade in outfits made of condoms during a fashion show at the 4th China Reproductive Health New Technologies & Products Expo in Beijing July 11, 2007. Condoms of all shapes and sizes were used to make dresses, hats and even lollipops. Models fought through extravagant soap bubble special effects to show off tight-fitting wedding gowns, scaly-looking evening dresses, outrageous bikinis and other garments made entirely of condoms.

The show was held at the Fourth China Reproductive Health New Technologies and Products Expo and organized by China’s largest condom manufacturer, Guilin Latex Factory, to promote the use of condoms in the fight against HIV/AIDS.

It also marked World Population Day, organized annually by the U.N. Population Fund.

Just think how many guys when sexless for the good of the show! 10 dress x 100,000 condoms per dress or so = a lot of celibate hetero couples.

Essin' Em

Read more and see some fabulous condom outfits

The Sex Doctor is in...FINALLY!

This is something we talk about in my classes a lot, how much of the medical profession ignores the sexual health part of people, as if it isn't important. Thank goodness that philosophy is changing!

"Next week in San Diego, Dr. Irwin Goldstein will open the doors of the nation’s first holistic, hospital-based sexual medicine center. San Diego Sexual Medicine will draw upon multidisciplinary fields to diagnose and treat the sexual complaints of patients, says Goldstein.

This could be a revolution in the treatment of sexual complaints. Or, others argue, it could be another step toward inventing disease to serve a pharmaceutical industry bent on creating expensive drugs to fix what isn’t really broken.

The need for some way for the medical community to better address sexual concerns was made clear during a presentation by Dr. Sandra Carson, an ob-gyn at Brown University and the editor of the journal Sexuality, Reproduction and Menopause. Carson practically begged the assembled doctors, mostly ob-gyns, to pay some attention to their patients’ sex lives.

I'd totally go here...I still can't believe that the majority of medical schools only have 2 hours of sexual health education (or less, according to speakers I've heard). Sexuality permeates all of our health- physical, mental and emotional, so make sure you're taking care of yourelf!

Essin' Em

Get more info on the Sex Doctors of San Francisco

New Column from Sydni Ellis!

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Movie Review: Zillie and Lena

Zille & Lena

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Studio: Joy Productions Category: Clothing ->Glasses

I remember the first girl I dated with glasses and how much I looked forward to the ritual of taking those glasses off. There’s no way I could pass up a movie produced by a studio with the slogan “Girls. Glasses. Amen.” This is an amateur film starring a couple of bespectacled brunettes with great chemistry. They start off with a little nipple play before one girl goes down on the other. She spends a lot of time eating her out, asking her what she likes and taking great pleasure in her writhing partner. I don’t want to ruin all the dirty bits, but I’ll let you know that they do switch things up, a big black dildo comes into play and a good time is had by all! The best thing is that they talk and laugh throughout. The brilliant Dorothy Parker once said “men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses,” and I’m not sure if she’s right or not. I do know that this girl never passes up the chance!

-The Porn Librarian

Movie Review: Longing For Him

Longing For Him

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Studio: Playgirl DVD Category: Erotica

The brand Playgirl takes me back to high school when my friend turned 18. We sat outside on a hot summer’s day, ogling the pictures of the naked hunks (I believe it was the college edition), each of us lost in our own fantasies about what we’d be doing with those beautiful, brawny boys. Playgirl DVD brings these delicious fantasies to life as they create erotic vignettes that delve into your deepest desires. From mixed doubles with a tennis instructor to a film star making love to her chauffer, these fantasies appeal to a huge audience, and I think almost everyone will find a scene that they’ll love. This film makes it easy to sit back, relax, and get lost in your fantasies as the rest of the world around you slips away. The sets and costumes are well done, making everything completely believable, and, as a proponent of safer sex, I salute Playgirl for their use of condoms in this series of erotic adventures.
-Essin’ Em

Sex Tips: Working Out the Kinks

Hi there. Sometimes I like to mix it up in the bedroom, and I would like to know how to try out some “kinkier” things. I’m not into fetish stuff, really, and I don’t see myself as into BDSM, I just want some info on getting tied up and stuff.
-Experimenting in Eugene

Well, sounds like you fit in with a pretty large percent of the sexually active population. Not everyone is ready for latex and leather or wants to head to the local dungeon. Lots and lots of people play with things that could be seen as being into BDSM, and it’s certainly not on the fringe of society as it was 10, or even 5 years ago. Many bedrooms have handcuffs, a blindfold, or other such objects that can be used for kinking up your sexual activities.

An easy activity to integrate into your current sex life is tying your partner up/being tied up. Either of you can play the “submissive” (tie-ee) role or the “dominant” (tie-er) roles, and if you want, you can switch later on. If one of you likes being more submissive and the other more dominant, that’s fine. However, if you like to take turns, that’s totally ok too! 

What do you need in order to tie people up? Not much! While you can purchase a bevy of bondage-oriented products, you can also use stuff from around the house or things bought from your local costume or gag gift store. 

Handcuffs are probably the first thing many think of when they hear “bondage” and they can be found pretty much everywhere, especially around Halloween. Gag stores in the mall carry them as well, sometimes even furry versions. Handcuffs can be great fun and all that jazz, but here a few things to think about. Don’t put them on anyone too tight or for too long - they’re metal and can cause some hardcore bruising and cut off circulation. Make sure if they’re legit handcuffs (as compared to those that you just press the little button thing to open), and that you know where the key is at ALL times. Putting it on the dresser when it can get knocked into oblivion during the throes of passion is probably not the best choice - maybe on a chord around your neck? And have a spare. It’d be pretty embarrassing to call the cops to get you OUT of handcuffs. Also, the cheaper handcuffs don’t hold up that well; it’s easy to accidentally pop out of them, and, I’m not gonna lie, one of my partners once broke a pair when we got a little too into what we were doing. I’d say handcuffs are a good start for a couple that wants to add a little kink, or maybe for someone that wants to do a cop role playing scenario. 

What else can you use? Anything! Ties (as in those that you usually wear with a button down shirt) work well, as do pantyhose (although these knots can get super tight and impossible to undo - think ahead and keep a pair of scissors by the bed). I sometimes use my over the shoulder wraps that are meant to go with evening dresses or even winter scarves. You can always go out and get some rope. If you decide to that, make sure you get the smooth, nylon rope that doesn’t cause as many splintery things or rope burn, unless of course that is what you were aiming for. 

Not into bondage? Or want to bump it up a level? Blindfolds can do wonders. Granted, some people like to know exactly what is going on or to look into their partner’s eyes lovingly and/or lustily, but others (myself included) enjoy a little suspense and a good moment of surprise now and again. You can use anything for a blindfold from sleeping masks to those fabulous 80’s headbands, silk ties to a pretty scarf tied around the eyes. Moreover, you could not use an actual blindfold at all, but play with a little power, and tell your partner (or vice versa) that they have to keep their eyes closed and be good. You can do the same thing with the idea of “gagging.” Granted, you can buy “official” gags at any sex toy store or use a piece of tape (Be careful, some stick to skin. Also, you want to make sure you think of another way they can tell you to stop), but sometimes it can be just as hot (if not more so) to tell them they have to be quiet/aren’t allowed to say anything, and watch them struggle to keep their mouth shut. Mmm! 

Then of course there is a little pain here and there. Spanking is pretty popular, and it can range from a tap on the ass while you’re fucking to a full-fledge spanking session (before, after, instead of or in addition to other sex play) with one of you laid out across the others’ lap. Not everyone likes spanking, but it’s very erotic for other people. Hands are the most common objects used to spank, because they’re easily accessible, you can feel exactly what you’re doing, and it can provide a sense of more intimacy for some people. Others like to use everything from ping pong paddles (wait…you mean people actually use them to play ping pong?) to special crafted paddles bought for the purpose of spanking, and hairbrushes to Greek paddles from college (come on, you know they had kinky sex in those houses!). This, like everything else here, needs to be something that both partners are into, and as always, communication is key. Talk to each other about how hard you want it, where they like it (butt, breasts, thighs, etc), how much is too much, and so on. 

Some toys everyone can use are fingernails and teeth. We often leave these out of sex play because of the fear of sharp pointy objects coming towards our genitals, but they don’t have to be thought of in that way. Light (or heavy for some people) scratching on the back, stomach, butt, arms, chest/breasts, and inner thighs can be incredibly arousing. Make sure you talk to your partner before you leave any marks; some people love them, and others may not like them at all, or may only be ok with marks that don’t show when they’re wearing clothes. Ditto on nibbling or small bites (which can and do leave darker marks than fingernails). Try it all over and with various pressures to see which works best for the two of you. 

You can do these all on their own or mix them up and try a blindfold with scratching, or being tied up with a little spanking. If you’re feeling super adventurous, try them all out and then write me and tell me how it was!. Just remember that it’s important to talk to each other about how you’re feeling, likes and dislikes, and all the important stuff that makes good sex great. 

Tying one on,

Essin’ Em

Check out some hot and sensual spankings in Nina Hartley’s Guide To Spanking :

Email Essin' Em your questions!

If you're gonna swallow, just swallow...

I love Tristan Taormino. A lot. She's smart, funny, fabulous, and just wrote an AWESOME article for the Village Voice about her newest movie.

—"If you're going to swallow, just swallow it. Don't do that thing where you practically gargle it, get it all foamy in your mouth, and then half-spit it out to show the camera. This isn't Cum Guzzling Sluts—it's educational!" That's the piece of direction I give to performer Kaiya Lynn on the set of my new fellatio sex-ed movie, The Expert Guide to Oral Sex, Part 2: Fellatio.

It's hard because I am using adult-film performers, and I'm fighting against the way they've been schooled to give and get blowjobs for other movies by other directors. It's hard because I want to show a variety of oral skills and styles that will both teach and inspire viewers. It's hard because the blowjob is already fraught with so much cultural iconography. It's hard because . . . maybe I'm overthinking this a little.

I am a few feet away from them, looking at the monitor so I can see the camera angle. It's clear he's about to come, and he touches Lindsey to give her a cue. Then all of a sudden it's like an insane explosion. He comes so much that it's literally shooting out the sides of Lindsey's mouth. I imagine what must be going through her head ("How will I get this to gently slide down his cock?"), since it's obviously too much for her to contain. And this is not a moment when I can yell, "Cut! Let's do that over again." This is not something we can easily re-take, and it's not something you fake either. So this is it, my come shot, and it's like an explosion of creamy ooze, and poor Lindsey is trying to not choke on it. My assistant director's eyes are popping out of his head. The camera pans away from the couple, and I finally yell, "Cut!"

The crew erupts in gasps and exclamations—the ones we were all holding in while we were still rolling. "Wow!" is all I can say, and Lindsey says, "I tried the best I could, but it was unexpectedly huge." I tell her she did fine, and Marcos sits up, totally unaware of what just went on. I tell him his load was huge. He says, "Really?", then looks down at his dick and his stomach. He cocks his head like a puppy that just heard an odd sound. His reaction is the opposite of macho boasting; he seems more in awe of the puddle of his own making. It's endearing that he is so not your typical guy—which is perfect, because this is not your typical blowjob movie.

If that doesn't make you want to see this exciting film, I don't know what would. Enjoy!

Essin' Em

Read all about the making of Tristan's latest film

Sex Toy Review: Sport Massager

I will never cease to be amused by sex toys that bill themselves as massagers (does anyone remember that episode of Sex in the City, where the store clerk keeps telling Samantha that her Hitachi Magic Wand is really a "massager" since they don't sell "vibrators." I'm just waiting for that to happen to me someday). However, this massager was quite worth its weight in batteries (2 AA), so I was willing to look past the packaging and move onto the fabulous toy itself.

This toy is built for choice and options. It comes with 5 (five!) different head attachments you can use, from a cup like thing, to a flat option, to 3 more choices, including bumpy! I like a variety of stimulation, so this toy was like 5 in 1, and let me choose exactly what I wanted, when I wanted, without having to get a variety of toys. It's actually really similar in format to the Wahl 7-in-1 vibrator, except the Wahl plugs in with two speeds, and this bad boy runs on batteries, and has a speed dial.

I loved that I could make all kinds of different types of sensation by changing the heads and the speed, although I'll admit it took me a little bit to figure out how to change the attachments. And by a little bit, I mean about 15 minutes…but once I figure that you have to pop-off the original head, and replace it with a different one (rather than putting it over the slightly protruding bump of the attachment it comes it), it was super easy to change them as I went.

There are a variety of speeds, but the highest isn't quite as high it feasibly could, although it still packs quite a punch for the types of batteries on which it runs. Moreover, it does in fact double as a legitimate back massager and even looks relatively un-sexual (unlike the Blissful Blue Massager which is clearly a vibrator disguised as a massager). It has many uses, and is a great asset to anyone's sex toy box. I wouldn't put it as my favorite toy EVER, but it does its job, and it does it well. Would be good for those just starting out, or for anyone with a nightstand chock full of playthings. However, it is NOT as powerful as some other massagers (I mean come on, it doesn't plug in), so that is something to think about. All in all, worth checking out!

Enjoy some fabulous clitoral massage with the Sport Massager

Movie Review: Lesbian Lickfest

Lesbian Lickfest

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Studio: Historic Erotica Category: For Women ->Classics

I love vintage porn! The other day I sat down with “Lesbian Lickfest,” a fun movie that deserves a much better title! There’s something about those old black and white film strips that’s absolutely fabulous. The women prove that the natural look is beautiful and the soundtracks are always great. This movie has a little bit of something for everyone. The first scene is an intimate encounter between two lovers with some pretty hot pussy eating. There’s a threesome that’ll prove just how far the strap-on has come in a generation and another group scene that’ll send you to the farmer’s market this weekend for sure. Historic Erotica even tossed in an old dirty advertisement for Body Powder at the end of the movie to prove that pornographers have always had a sense of humor. Here’s another odd note: this score included “Someone’s Rockin’ My Dreamboat,” a classic that I recognize from a Looney Tunes cartoon we used to watch on family vacations! If you’ve never checked out any vintage porn, I’d definitely recommend you check this one out. Our elders are just as dirty as us!

-The Porn Librarian

Movie Review: How To Perform Deep Throat With Caren Caan

How To Perform Deep Throat Hosted By Caren Caan

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Studio: OSK Productions Category: Instructional

To be honest, I’m not good at everything. One of those pesky things I’m not very good at is deep throating. Well, luckily for me, Caren Caan is here to explain all the fine tips one can use to become better at this slightly tricky talent. I love the movies from OSK Productions because they’re not in the vein of “here’s how to please your man - do everything he says,” or this is how sex should be for everyone.” Rather, Caan talks about how deep throating may be right for some couples, but not for others. She goes on to talk about how it may be easier or harder for you to deep throat your partner depending on your health, how you’re feeling, or your mood. Additionally, she emphasizes how important it is to have a partner you trust, and that you shouldn’t feel like you HAVE to do it. You should WANT to do it, or it’s not worth it for either of you. Starting out, she shows some general fellatio techniques, from licking to using hands, then moves on to ways to open your throat, then concludes with a variety of methods of deep throating. After the lesson, she gives an awesome demonstration of deep throating, and I can tell she’s really having a blast. I can’t promise I’m going to run out and stick the first penis I see down my throat, but I do feel a lot more comfortable if the subject of deep throating ever comes up.
-Essin’ Em

Movie Review: Eyes of Desire

Candida Royalle’s Eyes of Desire

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Studio: Femme Productions Category: Features

I decided to take a step back in time and check out one of Candida Royalle’s older films, and it was worth the trip in the time machine. While the outfits may be a bit outdated (and holy giant cell phone, Batman!), there is a distinct lack of old school “porn star hair.” There is an over abundance of acting, dialogue and plot; Not a pretense of a plot, but an actual plot with character development and suspense. There is a reason that this one is in the Feature category. This isn’t to say that the sex got lost in the plot. It didn’t. With well-known, hot to trot stars like Sharon Mitchell, Herschel Savage, and Chloe featured, this flick couldn’t contain bad sex even if they try their hardest. This one is like a day dream come to life on the screen, with a mystery man in the mansion on the hill, a beautiful heroine looking for direction in her life, and enough steamy sex to keep you going for a while. Add the fact that Femme Productions is known for producing feminist, ethical porn, and you’ve got a winner in my book. Plot? Check. Hot sex? Check. Feeling good about watching sex? Check. This film has it all!
-Essin’ Em

Help us welcome...

THE PORN LIBRARIAN!!!

That's right, she's been doing reviews for us (and along with I.M. Butch has helped to copy-edit my stuff), and now (drumroll), she'll be writing a column for our site. Check her first writing out at From the Desk of the Porn Librarian at HotMoviesForHer.com

Also, new sex book review up - probably the best mainstream aimed sex book I've EVER read. Check it out, along with all the stuff I (Essin' Em), Venus Vegas, IM Butch and the Porn Librarian write at www.hotmoviesforher.com

Wanna tell me what else you'd like to see? Sex tips you want me to write? Dances you'd like me to do? Ok...just kidding on the last bit. But seriously, we want to hear from YOU! Email me at Essin’ Em (em@hotmoviesforher.com)

Happy Tuesday!!!

Essin' Em

Sex Toy Review: I Love Female Orgasm

Are you female? Or is your partner female? If so, this is my number one recommendation for your book collection. This book combines academic research and know-how with fun facts, anecdotes from real women, and easy to understand writing, making it an excellent book that embodies both academia and pop-culture. With everything from oral sex to anal sex, biology to sexology, it covers pretty much everything you might ever need to know about female orgasms. Even better, it's a female-friendly (obviously) and queer-friendly book, making it accessible and relevant to everyone, regardless of your identity and orientation. These authors know their stuff, and present it in a fun and exciting way that should appeal to all females and those with female parts, whether you're on your way to being queen of the climaxes, or you've never gotten to the "big O." 5 ooohs (out of 5), and two thumbs up!

-Essin' Em

Read the rest of my review, and add this excellent book to your collection!

Movie Review: Cubbyholes

Cubbyholes

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Studio: Trannywood Category: F2M

Finally! A porn movie full of female-to-male transmen, bears, bioguys, and so much more. Cubbyholes takes place at the real life Eros club in San Francisco, and never before have I wanted to be a gay man…but I really want to visit that club! The scenes in this film are super hot, and they mix up who is fucking whom: bioguys with F2Ms, transguy on transguy, you name it. My favorite scene is between Dex Hardlove and Ian Foxe, two transguys who get it on in the locker room. I love the idea of locker room sex to start with, and watching Dex suck Ian’s cock just made my fantasy come to life. Ian Foxe is freaking hot, and his piercing is pretty awesome too. Another great thing about this cutting edge film is that they use safer sex throughout (and we all know how much I love the latex!). The background music is awesome;No cheesy 80’s porno beats for these guys. The music is hip, electronic and goes together really well with the scenes. If you like gay men, transguys, or sex in a famous S.F. bathouse, you’ll love this film. Steamy sex scenes, fucking in a sex swing, and a cub initiation - what more can you dream of?
-Essin’ Em

Let's hear it for the nerds!

From our big brothers at hotmovies.com, this gem:



I <3 nerds/geeks/what have you. A lot.

Movie Review: She's My Man

She's My Man

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Studio: L Factor Category: Lesbian

I didn't know exactly what to expect with this movie, but it was a great film that I loved watching. The title is a little misleading, as this movie mostly features femme couples, but the pairings are H-O-T. As much as I enjoyed the first scene, I felt that each vignette was subsequently better and better, culminating in a super hot scene between two sexy lesbians in an apartment featuring a bed rivaling that of a sheik: flowing curtains, poofy pillows and all. These two starving artist types have a very passionate connection (and beautiful tattoos to boot), and the sex between them is really sizzling. I also love Dana DeArmond, and she makes the second scene really come to life. The third scene involved a shower together (a favorite pastime of mine), multiple orgasms (again, a favorite pastime) and the use of a variety of sex toys, from glass dildos to vibrators (three for three). Basically, this movie is awesome, despite the title making it seem as though there might be more butch-femme parings. I love this movie; it really got me going, and I hope it does the same for you!
-Essin' Em

Sex Tips: Start Gabbing, Ok?

We have really good sex. Well, at least I think so. How do I know if he’s enjoying himself? And what he likes more, and what he doesn’t? And when we’re already having good sex, how can I tell him that there are new things I want to try? I don’t want him to think I’m not happy!
-Ambitious in Albany

Communication. Say it with me, folks. Communication is key.

No, really. I’m dead serious. I’m sure you’re sick of me pushing this whole communication thing, but it will really make every sexual experience and/or relationship that much better. Communication should be involved in every step of the sex process, from consent (”Hey, wanna fuck? Yes? Great!”) to the post-coital experience (”Wasn’t that great? God, you’re incredibly hot! I loved it when you ____ed me!”) and during every step in between.

If you like something, SAY IT. You don’t have to be super PC about things - use language that works for you and your partner. Tell them what you liked and how it made you feel, what you weren’t so big a fan of (but gently - no one likes to be told they aren’t good at something), and maybe some things you would like to try in the future. Here are some suggestions. Treat them like Mad Libs and fill in the blank, or go ahead and make up your own.

The Good Stuff:

*Wow, it felt awesome when you did _______ to me!
*I love the way your lips/hands/________ felt on my _______.
*When you ______ me, I felt really hot/loved/safe/sexy/_____.
*I was surprised that I liked it when you _______, but I really did. Let’s do that again!

The “Not-So-Good” Stuff:

*While I really liked it when you _______ me, I’d love if you did it harder/softer/faster/slower/________ next time!
*I wasn’t really a fan of _______, but it turned me on so much when you _______ me instead.
*I loved it when we ________, but I wish it could have gone on longer - it ended too soon.

Future Frolicking:

*You know, when we _______, it made me think how much I want you to _________ me!
*Looking at you _________ was so hot - next time I’d love to join in!
*My friend told me about this awesome trick s/he learned, and I think it would fun to try out. What do you think?
*It felt so great when we did ___________. Maybe next time we can do it in a different position?
You can also ask each other questions in order to see what your partner got out of the experience. This doesn’t need to be the Spanish Inquisition (remember, no one suspects the Spanish Inquisition!) or a game of 20 questions. Think about un-judgmental questions to ask. Try things like, “what was your favorite thing that we did?” and, “how did _______ make you feel?” Ask them what they’d like to try again, and whether they have any suggestions for future romps in the hay. Again, don’t just use my language - create your own. If you have nicknames for each other, use them. Use the names of the body parts that you both like to use. If you use “down there” for your vagina, you don’t have to rehash your experience by calling it your pussy (and vice versa). Each couple will come up with their own set of terms that just work for them.

If you’re a little shyer, you can always write down your thoughts and feelings. A note might begin with something like “hey sunshine/pooky/boo-boo face/dear, I wanted to tell you I had a wonderful time tonight/I love being sexual with you/you rock my socks off because __________________” In your note, talk about likes, dislikes, and things to try. Even if you decide to talk to them rather than hand them the note, you have your thoughts already down on paper. 

And you know, communication can (and should!) happen during sex too. I love it when my partner is fucking me and asks me how I want it (faster, slower, hard, etc), or when they have their fingers inside me, and they tell me to tell them when I want one more. I feel like I’m in control of my own pleasure, even though they’re the one pleasuring me. Don’t be afraid to speak up! If you’re mid-fuck, and you’d like to switch positions to get more stimulation, speak up. Most partners would be more than happy to oblige (and if they don’t want any feedback from you, they might not be the ideal partner). If you need to be on your back in order to climax, let them know, don’t make them try and figure out, since you might end up pretty disappointed.Furthermore, if you have hard limits, these are things to mention to your partner BEFORE you hop into bed (or the back of a car, or ______). I have an issue with pressure on my head during oral sex, so I make sure to tell my partners this pre-clothes removal, so I don’t go psycho-bat on them in the middle of oral sex. I had a partner that didn’t like to be kissed on the ears, but of course I didn’t find this out until I was leaning in for a little nibble on the lobe. It would have been a little less awkward had we talked about it beforehand.

I’m not saying you need to plan out every single step of every sexual experience. I, too, am a fan of spontaneity, and I would never suggest you miss out on that. However, talking with the person you’re sexing up is pretty important. And don’t tell me you can’t talk (at least on paper) to them - if you’re bumping naughty bits, then you should be able to tell them was does/doesn’t feel good!

Opening my big mouth,

Essin’ Em

Hear what happens when people talk with one another while having hot sex in Girl Talk:

Email Essin' Em your questions!

Movie Review: Hogtied #11 Featuring Jolene

Hogtied #12 Featuring Jolene

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Studio: HogTied.com Category: BDSM

For those who are into sex that involves intricate knot tying and beautiful bondage, this is a great film to enjoy; for those that are just delving into the world of BDSM, this film is a good stepping-stone. Jolene has never been tied up before, and they go a little easy on her on her first time (well, easy for hogtied.com!). She’s tied up in various positions and made to come with a dildo and vibrator…over and over! There are some nipple clamps and a little bit of flogging, but this movie isn’t really about pain, it’s about awesome bondage positions and the balance (or not) of power in a dominant/submissive scene. It’s a hot movie to begin with and having the pre-scene and post-scene interviews with Jolene made it even more enjoyable. I loved hearing what she had to say about her experience. If you’ve got a little bit of a kinky side, this is the movie for you!
-Essin’ Em

And you thought that G-Strings were skimpy...

Wow. That's pretty much all I can say about this. Holy moly. I though G-strings were pretty small (yup, just checked...I'm not getting much coverage from mine), but this literally defies gravity.

UK exclusive! Kiss goodbye to panty-lines and tan-lines with the incredible C-String Invisible Underwear! As seen in The Daily Mail, The Sun, The Star, Loose Women, Lorainne Kelly and more!

"When I try on an evening dress, I am impressed," says Alice Smellie in the Daily Mail. "Normally I can see the smallest of thongs, but with the C-string nothing is visible, and the dress does look more elegant than usual."

UK exclusive! Kiss goodbye to panty-lines and tan-lines with the incredible C-String Invisible Underwear! The C-String is a completely new and exciting innovation in lingerie. It fits your figure with no need for side-straps!

How does it work?

C-String has a flexible internal frame that hugs and holds it to the body both securely and comfortably. Your modesty remains safely covered at all times.

At the front it looks like sexy underwear, to the rear it has a thong-style strip, and to the sides it has nothing at all!

Out and about: the C-String can be worn under all your favourite clothes: dresses, skirts, jeans

On the beach: the C-String can be worn alone as beachwear for the perfect all-round tan. Forget the bikini the C-Kini is where it's at!

In the bedroom: the C-String is ultra-sexy lingerie!

I can't decided if this is a joke, a backlash from seeing so many famous women's nether regions, or just a weird Brit thing. Regardless, watch the video.

Essin' Em

Watch the video that includes a demonstration of the "C-String"

A

Movie Review: Catherine

• Catherine

  

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  Studio: Ninn Worx Category: Modern Features

  Two words come to mind in regard to the movie “Catherine”: MIND FUCK. No, I’m serious. I was entranced and sent on such a trip by the imagery displayed by this movie. I couldn’t decide whether I was watching a work of art or an adult film. The sheer amount of time, money and effort that must have going into this movie is astounding; it was filmed IN BUDAPEST, and the costumes and make-up should be up for Oscars. The sex scenes are INTENSE, and a complete juxtaposition to the artistry of the other scenes. There is some slapping, hitting, and double penetration; so, please be forewarned - this is NOT for the faint of heart or those who are not into hardcore. With a beautiful backdrop and accoutrements, and down and dirty sex, this movie is a trip in itself and something worth watching if you’re into rougher sex. If you’re not, at least check out the first and last scenes for the beautiful visual effects, then skip the sex.
  -Essin’ Em

Movie Review: Teacher's Pet

Teacher’s Pet

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Studio: Anastasia Pierce Productions Category: Fetish

This is the hottest and sexiest French lesson that I’ve ever seen! Berlin didn’t do her homework for her French lesson, and because of her neglect, mademoiselle Pierce punishes her, teaching her some very important words at the same time. There is some BDSM play in this movie - spanking (open hand and with a ruler) and various types of bondage, etc. However, I personally loved all the latex outfits, so this would be a great film for those who like a little kink and lots of latex. By the end of the film, Berlin is well on her way to becoming fluent in French, and she’s also learned how to be a good little student - very obedient! Hell, this movie was so hot, even I learned some French from it!
-Essin’ Em

Awesome video of the day!

This week is taking off...clothing!

In case you didn't have anything better to do this week, I'm here for you. It just so happens to be Nude Recreation Week, and as long as you are quick about taking your clothes off, you can even begin celebration of it today!

Battle Creek, Michigan, Sunshine Gardens Nudist Resort, The American Association for Nude Recreation (AANR) and The Naturist Society (TNS) are teaming up this summer to encourage Americans to take off their clothes, where appropriate, during the annual Nude Recreation Week celebration, July 9-15, 2007. AANR and TNS encourage first timers to enjoy clothes-free relaxation during Nude Recreation Week at home or at one of the many AANR and TNS-affiliated clubs.

For those looking to try something new in the comfort of their own home, TNS and AANR recommend these "fab five" activities:

*Cool off: skinny dip in your backyard pool.

*Make housekeeping fun: ditch those clothes, turn on some music and get out the mop.

*Get in touch with nature: shed those threads and grab your garden tools for some nude gardening.

*Exercise in the altogether: hit the treadmill or dust off one of the workout videos.

*Telecommute in the nude: working from home, in the nude, is in fact increasing in popularity!

First-timers are invited to don their birthday suits at home or at a nudist club and experience the personal liberation, stress-relief, and simple comfort of nudism.

Hmmm...I can't telecommute. I wonder what my office would say about me coming to work a naked as a jaybird...well, it's worth a try, right?

Essin' Em

Get more info about going out in the buff!

Movie Review: Punk Rock Pussy

Punk Rock Pussy

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Studio: VCA Category: Kinky

There’s nothing but fucking and dicking around with this movie. Hot girls with crops wearing fishnets and chiseled guys in jeans with 6 packs get in on in the dark depths of the dungeon. With a healthy dose of sucking and fucking, these girls are not bleach blonde or full of silicone, and they are quite kinky. I wasn’t a huge fan of the first scene, solely because I don’t like the whole “do it for daddy” mentality, but I really enjoy the second scene. Two girls (one with a British accent), one guy, and a whole lot of naughty fun, from a little spanking to cock sucking, and everything in between. It doesn’t hurt that the two ladies make out with each other. The subsequent scenes are also really hot, with sexy outfits (including my favorite - black and white striped leggings!), a totally tattooed guy and a bunch more threesomes. If you’re looking for non-stop, alt-porn action, you should give this one a go!
-Essin’ Em

Sex Toy Review: The Superbe!

The Superbe is a toy made by Candida Royalle's sex toy line Natural Contours, and you can tell this toy is made by a woman, for women. In addition to being a pleasing color (read: NOT bright pink!) and a non-phallic shape, the Superbe is quiet, easy to use, 3-speed AND comes in a nice little black box that is reuseable for storage purposes. All in all, it's a fantabulous starter toy for any woman, and a great toy for people that aren't HUGE sensation junkies (it wasn't quite strong enough for my liking, although I certainly was able to get off with it). I felt that the Superbe's only real short coming was being made of plastic, which is not exactly a warm and friendly material to be cuddling up to your vulva. However, the cuteness (and non-pink) factor, along with the ease of use and storage (and ability to take it anywhere) bumps this toy up to my top 10 list. Ladies (and gents who like vibes), step on up and give the Superbe a try!

-Essin' Em

Read my whole review and see how superb the Superbe truly is!

Movie Review: Afterschool Special and Turn Me Up, Over and On

Afterschool Special and Turn Me Up, Over and On

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Studio: Fatale Media Category: By Women

In this movie, you get two for the price of one, and both are more than worth it. It starts out with “Afterschool Special.” This is made by amateurs, but you’d never believe it. This ‘bad girls vs. the good girl dyke gang bang’ is so unbelievably hot. The good girl is good at what she does, and so is the hot butch banging and fisting her as she sucks another bad girl’s dick. By the end of this film, I was wishing that I was a good girl in Boston, just so I could be fucked into being a bad girl! The fun doesn’t end there - there is a short burlesque bit, followed by film two of the double feature: “Turn Me Up, Over, and On.” I thought the first one was hot, and this one is too, but in a completely different way. The butch/femme couple here has unbelievable chemistry, and the orgasms are intense. They come early, and they come often. Very hot. By themselves, these are two sexy and enjoyable films. Together, they make for a steamy night, either alone or with a partner. If you like what you see in this film, check out others from Fatale Media.
-Essin’ Em

Let's give them something to talk about!

For years, people have been telling me that women talk too much, and I've always thought it was complete bullshit. I mean, *I* talk too much, but not women as a whole! Luckily for us women, a study has finally proven that those "women talk more than men" statistics really shouldn't have been given any lip service!

Stereotypes tell us that women are the chattier sex, prone to detailed verbal accounts of emotions and events while men brood silently in front of the television.

Now, a scientific study refutes that, finding that the daily amount of words used by men and women is virtually the same.

The results, to be published Friday in the journal Science, also contradict an oft-cited figure: that women use nearly three times as many words as men, or 20,000 words a day for women versus 7,000 for men.

When the information from 210 women and 186 men was compiled, both groups were found to use, on average, roughly 16,000 words a day.

To be exact, women used 16,215 and men, 15,669. The difference of 546 words is not statistically significant, according to the researchers.

"What's a 500-word difference, compared with the 45,000-word difference between the most and the least talkative persons" in the study, said Matthias R. Mehl, an assistant professor of psychology at the University of Arizona, who led the team that came up with the finding.

Take that you sexist people who have quoted made up numbers and statistics! At the very least, these findings should give everyone something to talk about...

Essin' Em

Check out the results of the study and more at the ChicagoTribune.com

Exclusive Interview with Mandi Michaels

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Pizza and Porn?!?!?

I really like pizza. It is delicious, full of cheesy goodness. I also really like porn. Still full of delicious goodness, just not so much of the cheesy variety. Now this has just blown my mind. Pizza AND porn, delivered to your door.

A pizza restaurant in Canada is delivering pornographic pictures with meals as an after dinner treat for customers.

Winnipeg-based Porno Pizza puts the photographs in the box underneath the pizza, reports Metro News.

Local entrepreneur Corey Wildeman, 30 came up with the idea for the business came while working at other pizza places.

"I'm absolutely thrilled with how successful it's been," he said.

"It runs the full gamut. There are some that are very Playboy-esque and others which Larry Flynt would blush at," he said, describing the photos sent out with orders.

What has surprised Wildeman the most since opening is the sex of the customers.

"It's about 75 to 80% female that are placing the orders and are taking orders at the door," he said.

It's almost the weekend. I may be a bit hard to get ahold of...having a mass orgy of pizza and porn. It brings a whole new meaning to the pizza delivery man porn cliche!

Essin' Em

Hungry? Horny? Get your pizza and porn here!

Movie Review: Moving Day

Moving Day

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Studio: Greywood Studios Category: Lesbian

So I’m sitting in my empty apartment, waiting out the next 4 hours until I get on the road as I finally finish my move into a new place and come across a movie called “Moving Day.” I took this as a sign and decided to review it. My first observation is that these girls do not have a lot of stuff to move. I’m having a hard time relating because I just spent 5 hours packing and cleaning. However, I continue watching and soon discover that there is more to moving than I originally thought! These two cute college girls are so excited to be out of the dorms and into their first apartment together that they can’t wait to pull each others clothes off. They start out giggling while kissing and end up moaning, face deep in pussy. They truly enjoy each other throughout, and that’s what makes this one worth watching. The plot is a little campy, the sex is hot and it’ll make you think back to the time when you could move every thing you owned in one car. It’s also given me a little hope that this entire moving day will not be for nothing!
-The Porn Librarian

Life is a drag...

Where are you going to be on August 18, 2007? If you're anything like me, you'll be trying to find a way to get to California to find front row seats at the 2007 Annual San Francisco Drag King Contest.

“DragStrip Productions is proud to announce the 12th annual San Francisco Drag King Contest, the Oldest and Biggest Drag King Competition in the World and, according to the SF Weekly, "A Parade of Gender-Bending Eye Candy," on Saturday, August 18, 2007, 8pm at San Francisco's Mega-Art and Event Space, Somarts.

The internationally acclaimed outlandish celebration of Sex, Drag and Rock and Roll will bring out the animal in every attendee and participant since part of the proceeds will benefit for PAWS (Pets Are Wonderful Support).

With biceps, chests and trousers bulging, performers and contestants will cajole, captivate, charm, enthrall, enchant and entrance the audience with their outrageous theatrical performances where lip-synch, live rock, fetish, burlesque, hip-hop, rap, interpretive dance and shtick meet and compete.

"The San Francisco Drag King Contest is a mash-up of the Miss America Pageant, American Idol, Halloween and a Monster Truck Show," states impresario Fudgie Frottage. "There will be wrestlers, contortionists, Elvis, Prince and Billy Idol Impersonators, Rappers, Dandies, Pimps, Leather Daddies, Hillbillies, Homo-erotic Jocks,
Clowns, and their female counterparts. It's a mind-boggling, dress-to-impress occasion, where part of the fun is just trying tell the performers and audience members apart."

"The San Francisco Drag King Contest has inspired me to find my inner dude, and I'm half-way there" says Super Star The Indra. I performed my half man, half woman act recently at the London Burlesque Fest and received everything from dropped jaws to standing ovations. My motto: "If it doesn't look phallic enough, turn it sideways."

Mmm...I love watching drag kings perform...they're hot, feisty, and ooze sexualitity. Regardless of your gender preference, there's just something about empowered women dressing in drag.

Essin' Em

Learn about the 2007 San Francisco Drag King Contest

Movie Review: The Real Boogie Nights

The Real Boogie Nights

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Studio: Sex Z Pictures Category: Features

The number one reason you should watch this movie? A choreographed dance number led by none other than Kurt Lockwood and Jack Lawrence. Ok, so there are actually a ton of reasons to check out "The Real Boogie Nights," but I'd say that is definitely in the top three. Lockwood directs this movie, as well as performs in it, and he brings a flair to this film that is rarely seen in the adult industry. This movie is more like an average run of the mill film, just with bonus sex scenes. And those sex scenes are great. My favorite is the first one with Lockwood and "Skater Girl" (Sunny Lane) who is on skates throughout the entire movie. Being a former figure skater and current roller derby girl, I give her so many props for fucking on skates - that takes some extreme talent (and it is great to see her showcase the skills she learned growing up, before she got into the industry). Lockwood's acting, personality and facial expressions carry the film, and of course, Lawrence helps out with this as well. The two of them together are double trouble. Ron Jeremy also has a main role in the film, but believe it or not, he's never naked or fucking anyone. This is one of the few films I've seen in which the male talent really carries the film, and boy oh boy, they do an awesome job in this one. Hot boys, sexy girls, 70's clothing, a musical dance number, sex on skates, and a commentary about coke within the industry? There is so much to love. Make sure you take a look at this one!
-Essin' Em

 

Like the well-wrapped lollipop?

So do I.

Check out this adorable video!

Pub Aides My Boy Lollipop
Uploaded by PeteRock

It's a bird, it's a vibrator, it's a...

TRANSFORMER!!!!


In honor of the release of Transformers, I thought everyone should be forewarned that anything and everything might be able to transform, so you'd better watch out.

Why?

You might one day wake up to this:

Sex Tips: Strap it to me!

My partner really wants me to use a strap on, but I’m not sure how I feel about it, and even if I decided to do it, I have no idea how to go about it. What advice can you give me?
-Apprehensive in the Appalachians

 
Oh, strap-ons. That’s a great subject. I can’t believe I haven’t covered them yet, because they’re another toy that all types of women can use, regardless of their orientation.

What is a strap-on? Most strap-ons consist of two parts - the strap, and the on. Ok, not really, but there are two parts usually; the harness and the dildo. The dildo part is the more well known bit - they’re phallic shaped toys, though they don’t always look like penises. They are usually made of jelly, rubber or silicone, and can come in a variety of shapes, sizes and colors (from flesh tones to hot pink and electric blue). People of all sexes and genders use dildos by themselves as penetrative sex toys (in both the vagina and the anus, and by people of all sexes and genders ). However, some people like to take their dildo experience to another level, and that’s where the harness comes into play. 

Harnesses look slightly like a rock climbing device, although they’re usually a little less bulky, and quite a bit more comfortable. The basic idea is that the wearer of the harness steps in or straps themselves in, and places a dildo through the O ring at the junction of the wearer’s legs. The dildo sits somewhere on the pubic bone (higher or lower depending on the harness) and once secured, is relatively stable. 

Some harness have more of a “thong” look - the straps go on the user’s hips, with an additional strap that goes down the butt cheeks, through to connect in the front. Another popular harness style is the “two strap,” which looks a bit more like a jock strap. It has, aptly enough, two straps that encircle the users legs, and connect in the middle. There are also “panty harnesses,” which simulate underwear, but with a hole and ring for the dildo in the front. Then of course, there are the “other” types, including harnesses to strap dildos onto your thigh, your chest, your chin, and more. And of course, there are a few snazzy dildos, like the Feeldoe, that don’t require harnessed. They’re almost U shaped dildos. The smaller end goes inside the penetrator, and the larger end can then be used to penetrate your partner, with your vaginal muscles supposedly keeping it in place. Never tried one of these, but it seems like a cool idea! They come in all types of materials, from leather to fabric, nylon to plastic/latex. It all depends on what you’re looking for. When I was rocking out at the Dinah Shore Weekend, I was lucky enough to try on a Spare Parts Harness and let me tell you, it was freaking awesome, and super comfy to boot! 

Once you have a harness, it’s time to find a dildo. Not just any dildo, for it has to have a wider base, so that once in the O ring, it will stay there, rather than jumping ship into one of your partner’s orifices. Many dildos have these types of bases, and you can find some great options at at Eden Fantasys Dildo Page. There are tons of shapes and sizes, so talk to your partner(s) about what they want. It’s also important to think about whether it’s going in the vagina or the anus, as many people will prefer smaller toys for the anus (and yes, boys like it up the butt too!). My two personal faves, that I’ve gotten to test out, have been the the Goddess and the The Raquel, but again, it’s completely personal preference. 

Once you have the equipment, and are all strapped in and ready to go, it’s game time. Lube, as always, makes an excellent accessory to any sex play. In fact, I’d like to coin the catch phrase that “Lube is the new black.” Use it, love it (both the phrase and the lube itself). Just like any type of sexual activity, communication is key. Talk to your partner about what they need you to do to feel comfortable, and tell them what you need from them. Some people might want lots of kissing, foreplay, etc, whereas other just want to go for the gold. Lots of strap-on using couples like for the non-wearer to fellate the strap-on, while others find it unattractive. Again, it’s different for everyone, and this is why you have to talk with each other about what works, and what doesn’t. 

Now that you’re ready for action, pretty much anything you both want to try is up for grabs. Strap-ons can be used in any position a penis can (and more - feel free to try anything, because if a dildo is bent the wrong way, it won’t ’snap’ the way a penis can if it is pulled too far the wrong way), and can be used on partner of either sex, and in the anus or vagina. However, if you’re going to be moving hole to hole, or using the dildo on more then one person at anytime, you should pop a condom on that sucker. Ditto if it’s a non-silicone dildo, because you want to keep it bacteria free (and silicone can be boiled). 

Some dildos vibrate, so that is something to try as well. Also, there are double-ended dildos to give both the fucker and the fuck-ee pleasure. Some harnesses have room for an anal dildo for the wearer, as well as the traditional front dildo. Experiment if you’d like - the sky (and maybe your budget) is the limit! 

Guys can definitely be involved on either end of strap-on sex. Some guys (straight, bi, gay, etc) loved being penetrated in the anus - the prostate is there, so stimulation rules, as well as for the emotional and mental benefits. They might feel that it’s nice to be not in control as much, or that it’s nice to give their partner the opportunity to penetrate as well. I’m sure there are a ton more reasons! Two female bodied partners can use strap-ons for vaginal or anal sex, in addition to or instead of manual penetration (or using a dildo by hand). And male partners can wear a strap-on too; in order to perform double penetration, because they may have trouble getting/remaining erect, in more femdom fetish way (”you can fuck me, but not with your dick”), or for any other number of other reasons. 

So those are some of the very basics of strap-on sex. Try lots of things, have fun, figure out what’s right for the relationship (or one nighter) that you’re in. Clean your toys when you’re done. COMMUNICATE. And hopefully, this is the beginning of a beautiful relationship…with strap-on sex 

Giving it to ya,

Essin’ Em

To see how a real man takes a strap on, check out Devinn Lane’s Guide to Strap On Sex:

Email Essin' Em your questions!

Movie Review: Sappho's Girls #1

Sappho’s Girls #1

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Studio: CyberDyke Category: Lesbian

This film consists of three different vignettes, and each has its own specific appeal. The couple in the first scene is also a couple in real life, and it was incredibly hot watching two people together who clearly know exactly what it takes to get the other off. And plus, who doesn’t love a good 69? It was a hot scene. My favorite is the second, in which two women have some of the most intense, bed pounding, screaming, writhing orgasms I have ever had the pleasure of watching. One of them has beautiful tattoos all over her body, making her limbs appear to be part of a garden (well, one created from ink). It’s a very hot, very raw, climax filled 20 minutes. The last scene comes from more of a seduction angle, where one of the women seduces the other by slowly teasing her all over her body until she finally fucks her hard with a strap-on, ending in earth shattering orgasms. I love all three scenes; the ladies are super hot, and the orgasms are both real and phenomenal. Two thumbs up for the women of CyberDyke!
-Essin’ Em

Sex Toy Review: The Rolling Stud

The Rolling Stud... I mentally call it Rolling Thunder for 2 reasons: 1. the word "stud" makes me giggle and I think "thunder" is sexier, and 2. this thing is loud. Not buzzing loud, but mechanical loud. If you like to play in silence, this is not the toy for you, but if you like loud music (or don't mind the noise), then you should be able to drown it out. Regardless, that's my only complaint. The Rolling Stud (thunder!) has a thick and beefy main shaft which is wide and long (awesome), with a smaller compadre attached by a stretchy coil. The main shaft rotates, so that the head tickles your insides (yes, exactly there, just like the Quicksilver G-Spot), as well as internal beads towards the base that roll around, giving great sensations around your vaginal opening when inserted. These are offered in 2 speeds, good to begin stimulation and then to take it to the next level. The other smaller attached piece vibrates (also at 2 different speeds) and is an always welcome companion to any insertable toy. The box says it's good for clitoral or anal stimulation and small enough for anal insertion, but without a flared base you may want to be careful on that second part. No matter how good it feels at first, no one wants the little compadre getting lost up their behind! If you're really good with your hands, I must admit this is a good anal play addition though. However, we don't recommend inserting it fully - if you're looking for a toy that just screams "anal play," check out the Pro Touch. For additional clitoral stimulation, the little compadre is also a hit! I like the Rolling Stud because it offers multiple sensations in multiple ways to multiple areas - not vibrating all over… which, if you're like me, still need to keep moving because plain vibration (while excellent) isn't enough. With this toy, once it's get going, I can pretty much go hands-free and just enjoy!

Get your hands on your own Rolling Stud (or Rolling Thunder, if you will)